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“I’m sorry,” she whispers again and immediately I move in and press my lips to hers. Holding our kiss I just need to feel her.
“Never in my life have I ever loved someone the way I love you. It scares the hell out of me Mar, I feel like I can barely breathe.” Pressing my forehead to hers we simply stay like that, me holding her face in my hands and her, gripping my shirt at my chest.
CHAPTERFORTY
Amara
“We’re keeping it a secret, right?” Tyler said, sitting on the couch next to me. “That means we tell no one, not a single person. Not Claire, or the twins, I won’t tell Liam or Fitz, it's ours, mine and yours and no one else’s.”
“Are you asking me or are you reminding yourself.” I laugh holding the newest sonogram picture in my hands.
“Both,” Tyler chuckles. “I’ll admit not telling everyone that we’re having a little man is going to be tough. I’m ready to drive the firetruck through the center of town shouting it from the intercom.”
“I like the idea of you walking out of the delivery room telling everyone you have a son.” I can almost picture the smile on Tyler’s face as he tells all our friends and family.
“Me too,” his grin stretches wide as he slides in closer and looks at the image I hold. “A son,” he whispers, “the guys took a poll at the station, and I know they're all going to be pressuring me to see who won.”
“We said no one,” I remind him, turning just enough to see his face. “Ours, this is just for us.”
“Just for us,” he repeats and then cups my face, pressing a kiss to my lips. “It’ll kill me, but I won’t tell a soul.” The happiness dancing in his eyes is an incredible sight.
He places his hand on my stomach, which he’s been doing a lot more lately. When we’re watching television, lying in bed, driving, I know it’s because I am starting to show. It could be that he is waiting to feel the baby move. I’ve felt the flutters, and the sensations of movements randomly throughout the last several weeks, but he’s yet to feel it for himself.
I want it so badly for him, I see the yearning in his expression as he holds still, like he is concentrating and silently wishing for just one little thump makes me feel slightly guilty that I can feel it.
Leaning a little closer he kisses my stomach and whispers something so lightly I can’t hear, before looking up at me and smiling.
“Keeping secrets already?” Shrugging, he ignores my question and lays his head onto my lap. Immediately my hands go to his hair, and his eyes close. This is the man I love, the one that seems content with the simplest gestures. I was terrified from the start that this wouldn’t be enough for Tyler.
But every day he surprises me more, and every day I fall a little deeper in love with the bachelor turned family man. My man.
* * *
Charlie and Audrey are both currently getting pedicures and Lorelei sits in my chair, laughing as she shares a story about a coworker. She is on the verge of tears from laughing so hard.
I know she can go anywhere for a trim and a little touch up, but she comes to my shop. I know it’s more for the girl talk and gossip, but I love it. What normally would take less than an hour takes more like two because we spend most of it talking and catching up.
She’s deep in conversation and I don’t notice anyone else has entered until I see her glance toward the door and the smile on her face drops.
Tucker stands just inside, and I feel my stomach do a crazy nervous flip.
We haven’t talked since the day at my parents when he refused to let Tyler and I just be happy.
I love my brother, truly I do, but just because I love him doesn’t mean that I have to like him right now. I’m angry, and most of all I’m sad. We’ve never not gotten along and it's hard for me to have any kind of rift between me and my siblings. They are my people; they are those I want my child and any that follow to rely on fully without hesitation.
“Can we talk?” I bite my lip, trying my best to hide the way it starts to tremble.
He doesn’t get my tears.
“Mar, please.”
“I can wait,” Lorelei insists.
“No,” I don’t look back at him. “If what he has to say is so important then he can wait.”
Maybe it's childish, but I don’t care. I need some time to slow my racing heart. Knowing he’s here, knowing that he’s probably going to tell me another list of reasons why I shouldn’t be with Tyler doesn't make me want to rush to his side.
He can stew.
