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I wait until the door closes and I hear the lock engage before I make my way over to my bike.
I straddle my baby and smile to myself as I turn on the engine. I’ll definitely be here to pick her up for shopping. What she doesn’t realize is that we’ll be dropping off the stuff at my place. I mean, I have a huge ass kitchen; might as well kill two birds with one stone. She gets to be able to not stress about making stuff and, I get to have her in my space with me.
Hopefully, she doesn’t turn into Dee and decide to shank me for it.
“Owww!”Igroan.“Youson of a monkey’s ass.” I rub my poor pinky toe that the edge of my kitchen chair just attacked. I hobble over to the living room and take a seat on the couch. I lift my leg and place my foot at the edge of my seat. My poor toe is all red and throbbing so badly it feels as if it’s about to fall to the ground. I swear there is nothing worse than stubbing your toe, except for maybe banging your elbow into something. That one is always weird because you don’t know whether to cry or laugh because it tickles a little.
I continue to rub my toe as I check my phone for the time. Luckily, I still have about ten minutes to nurse my injured toe back to life. At least I’m dressed, minus my shoes which was my obvious downfall this morning. I wasn’t even wearing my slippers since I was walking to slip on my shoes. I’m convinced that if it wasn’t for bad luck, I would have no luck at all most days.
Although, I may be extra spastic today because of Jake, or do I call him Marrow? That’s so strange. Am I only supposed to call him Jake in my head or when we’re alone? I should probably ask him about that. No one ever calls Edge by his real name. Kealy has said that she only uses it in private. I guess that I’ll do that too. Even if thoughts of being alone with Marrow make my stomach feel as if I’m on a rollercoaster that’s plummeting back down to earth.
And I mean it’s not like I’m ever going to be alone with him very much anyway. He’s just being nice and helping me out since I’m doing all of this for Blaze. Men like him have no need to spend time with damaged creatures like myself, even if it did work well for Edge and Kealy. Not all men are as good as Edge is. With everything he’s done for me, I would nominate that man for sainthood if I could.
Not that Marrow isn’t is good man as well. He’s managed to worm his way into my exceedingly small circle of trust. But that still doesn’t mean that he’s meant for me.
The me beforeHe Who Shall Not Be Named,that girl would’ve gone for Marrow in a heartbeat. I would’ve been rejected obviously because the man is the epitome of tall, broody, handsome and ripped. But my former self would’ve shrugged it off knowing I had at least given it my all. The old me would’ve even had a snappy comeback to make him realize that it was his loss and not mine.
But she’s long gone and will never be back. I’m lucky if I can string a sentence together near a man without having a panic attack. The new sucky me is determined to stay away from men in a relationship sort of way for the rest of my life. I’ve learned that no matter how handsome and perfect someone seems, there can be pure evil lurking behind blue eyes and a nice smile. I don’t plan to ever fall into that nightmare again.
The buzzer to my door sounds, making me jump sky high. I frown as I look at my phone.
“Damn, he’s early.” I grumble to myself as I hop along to my intercom. “Hello?” I say as I hit the button.
“Hey, Darlin’, just wanted to let you know I’m here.” Marrow’s deep baritone voice fills my apartment making me shiver.
Get it together you nutcase! Never again will I fall prey to a good looking man. No matter how hot and muscly he is!
“Hi.” I squeak out and slap my hand against my forehead. I must seem so freaking pathetic to him….not that I really care for any other reason that I have to see him often. “Umm, come on up, I’m not done getting ready.”
I frantically look around my apartment, making sure that I haven’t left out any bras or panties or anything embarrassing like that. I wince mildly at the amount of clutter in my kitchen but, it can’t be helped. I really should probably get my little buying issue under control.
I jump again when a knock sounds at my door.
I shake my head. “Try an act like a normal human being just for a little awhile.” I mumble to myself.
I take a deep breath and try to reign in my emotions when I realize that I will be alone with him in my apartment. Logically, I know that he would never do anything to hurt me, but, unfortunately, my body remembers the pain of being all alone with a man.
I do a full body shake and open the door. I swallow thickly and give him a small smile as I pull the door wide enough to allow him to enter.
“Sugar, you look like you’re about to vomit.” He frowns, making no move to come any closer. He has no idea how close I really am to throwing up. His eyes soften as he looks at me. “Cadie, I don’t have to come in, honey. I have no problem waiting in my truck. I just rang your buzzer to let you know that I was here, not to get you to have me come into your apartment.”
His acceptance of my screwed up boundaries makes me want to weep with both joy and sorrow. I take another deep breath and shake my head. I give him a real smile this time. “No, it’s okay, I don’t want you to have to wait outside. Please come in.” I turn around and walk further into my kitchen. It won’t be until I’m laying in bed tonight that I realize the full gravity of me giving him my back. He’s earned my full trust without me even being aware of it.
He walks in slowly, so cautiously while eyeing me warily as though I might have a panic attack. I stand still and continue to smile at him. If it looks a bit deranged, he’s nice enough not to say anything, though his lips twitch minimally.
He closes the door gently and stays put. I can’t even help the snort that comes from my nose. This huge man looks frightened of me of all people.
“I’m not going to freak.” I say gently.
“I know, Darlin’.” The lying ass states.
I roll my eyes and start to hobble back to my living room. I plop myself onto the couch and look for my shoes. He begins to walk around slowly, seemingly taking in everything at once while keeping an eye on me.
“Why are you hopping around like a rabbit lookin’ for a carrot?”
I look up at him to see his eyes twinkling before looking past him with a glare. “Because that evil kitchen chair attacked my poor pinky toe as I was walking past to get my shoes.”
His arms cross against his chest as he raises his hand in front of his mouth. “The chair attacked you?”
