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“Liar. I know that look. You’re thinking abouthim. Well, I’m here, as Dr. Dani, your pro-bono therapist, to say that you don’t need to spend another fucking minute thinking about that fucking asshole, alright? You don’t deserve to look like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’ve been devastated. You’re not. You’reokay. You survived him. And now things are better. Remember that. Remember that things are better and you are safe.”
It’s rare for Dani to show herself like this. Sincere and thoughtful.There hasnever beenany doubtthat she loved me, or that she cared about me. That’s what sisters are for. We tease mercilessly, we hold things over eachother'sheads for the rest of our lives, but in the end, when we’re needed, we’re there and we’re there 100%.
“Tell me that you’ll remember that.”
“I will,” I promise.
And I’m sure it’ll be true eventually.
****
As the night wears on, and the collection of empty beer bottles starts to grow ridiculous, we’re all in a comfortable haze of drunkenness. The sunlight has long since disappeared, but no one bothered to turn on the main light. There’s a glow from the sconces on the wall that turn on with a timer, but nothing much else.
Dani stays way past her welcome, and then returns to what was once my apartment. She callsan Uber, so even when Xander offers to see her home, she tells him it’ll be fine.
“I keep a taser in my bag. Besides, you’re drunk. You can’t drive. If we were planning to drive drunk, I’d take my car back. I have a crowbar under my seat for emergencies.”
“What kind of emergencies is she expecting?” he mutters aloud.
“The kind where a strange man tries to break into her car, I assume,” I say with a shrug.
We’ve all had those nightmares, and all been forced to form a plan of action in case it becomes a real problem. I, for one, have had both fantasies and nightmares about getting back at whatever prick dares to come my way. Though those fantasies only turned into nightmares after I learned how hard it is to fight back sometimes.
Because sometimes the people hurting you aren’t people you’re supposed to be scared of. The fight doesn’t turn to flight. It turns to freeze. Youcan’t breathe or react, and it feels, in the aftermath, as though youletit happen. And then, you search for all the reasonswhyyouletit happen in the first place.
“Hey. Dani said you only get that look on your face when you’re, you know, thinking about your ex.”
Fuck, why do I have to be so fucking expressive?
“It’s just one of those days, I guess.”
One of those days where I have to remember more than I want to, and think a little too deeply about things I’d rather avoid thinking about. Xander seems to recognize the dilemma.
“The mind can be a harsh place to live, sometimes. How about I give you a distraction?”
I know what’s coming, but a shiver still wracks my body as he lifts me up and throws me back down on the sofa. His gargantuan body towers over me, and then his muscles are rippling like water on a windy day as he lowers himself down on top of me. I reach up, gasping for his lips, and he obliges readily. His calloused fingers explore the lines of my body, slowly peeling off layers of clothing so gently that I don’t even notice them going. I’m not nearly as talented as he is. His vest comes off in a tangled mess, and when it passes his face, his eyes are alight with laughter.
“You’re so cute when you’re excited,” he whispers, his teeth nipping at my ear.
“I blame you.”
“Oh?”
“Stop getting me so damn excited.”
With our shirts gone, we’ve nothing left to stand between us. The lights are low, we’re both deep enough in beer that our thoughts are fuzzy, and now we’re naked and ready for one another.
Distraction indeed.
Xander pushes himself inside of me and starts a steady rhythm. His hands trail a warm line from my hip to my breast. His fingers trace the skin around my nipple, and then his mouth is moving from my lips to the puckered brown skin, sucking, his tongue darting out to taste.
By back arches when his fingers reach down and join the party. He goes faster, stronger, and I can barely restrain myself as I start to scream. All my nerves are alight with pleasure, and it’s all speeding through my body, building, building, building until I’m sure that I’m about to explode.
In all my years, I’ve never climaxed like this before.
