AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I feel like I’m drowning, all of my ambitions sinking with me.
Why didn’t I try to move in sooner? I could have at least made a proactive offer. I’m so fucking stupid. And what about my inspection? Those motherfuckers didn’t even give me a chance!
Every laugh that echoes from the bar sounds like it’s aimed at me. The world is laughing at my expense. I want to scream or yell or punch something. But I’m hardly able to stand, as my limbs feel heavy and lifeless. Instead, tears roll down my face. This is one situation where I can’t pivot. I can’t afford a different restaurant space in this neighborhood; it will take me years to afford anything nearby.
I think of how hard I’ve worked. All the times I appeased the foul-mouthed masturbating assholes, the threats to dox me, the disgusting private messages, the intimidation tactics and warnings. All the long nights at Top Shelf, the extra shifts, the blisters on my feet. What’s the fucking point.
I did everything I was supposed to.
My head drops between my shoulders, and I don’t even try to wipe away my tears anymore. My sadness slowly morphs into anger. Who bought it? It’s not fair they can just swoop in and steal it from me! Who the hell took it? I do some searches to see if anything gets a hit and then I see it. A Facebook announcement from Citra that they’ve bought up a restaurant space only blocks away. They’re opening a tasting room and holding it as a new private-event space. What, because their enormous hundred-thousand-square-foot fucking brewery isn’t big enough?
From this day forward I will never drink another one of their beers again. Fuck each of those sly shitbags that put in an offer before the bidding started. I’m not mad they got it, well, yes, I am. But what really chaps my ass is I didn’t even get a fair shot.
Isn’t this the cherry on top of the steaming pile of garbage that is my life. Why not just have the love of my life ignore me like I never existed in the first place? Let’s also obliterate my dreams and aspirations while we’re at it.Fucking fabulous.What else you got, world? How about you make a frozen pipe burst in my apartment? Perhaps an audit from the IRS, hm?
That was my chance. That was everything. The only thing I feel is my raw throat and aching heart. Everything else is numb. I want to go home.
Leaning into the detachment, I dissociate from it all to preserve whatever dignity I have left. After fixing my makeup, I head back to the bar and throw back a couple shots.
Fuck it.
THIRTY-SIX
“Idon’t know anybody who could handle their girlfriend showing their body off to other men.” She shakes her head. “I mean, I couldn’t imagine doing that if I had a boyfriend. It’s so disrespectful to you.”
“That’s enough, Anna.”
“Just saying...” she singsongs, scrolling her phone while flopped on my couch.
I feel like over the last week Anna has gradually been talking more shit about Freya. Besides Anna, my career always came first. Nothing else mattered. But now there’s a lot more on the line—mainly Freya.I’m not giving up on us, but it’s important I figure out my priorities without outside influence. Which is why Anna needs to stop adding her two cents.
“Hey, can I get a twenty? I want to get a burger from downstairs.”
“I can cook you a burger.” I’ve been trying to implement boundaries like Freya’s suggested.
“With what? You don’t have a grill.”
“On the stove. Or I’ll buy a grill.” Probably should have one anyway.
“You’ll buy a brand-new grill... but you won’t give me twenty dollars for a burger? That’s dumb.”
“That’s what I’m offering.”
She scoffs and throws her hands in the air. “You don’t trust me. See? She’s made you not trust me! Why are you letting this chick still come between us?” Her fingers fly over her phone, texting someone. Probably that stupid fucking Anastasia chick she keeps inviting over when I’m not home. I told her she’s not allowed to have anyone in my apartment.
“Who are you texting?”
“Oh my God,” she groans. “You’re not Dad, Rhys. Get over it.”
If Dad was here, he’d be disappointed in both of us.
“Who are you texting?” I ask again. This time I snatch the phone from her and hold it over my head. She loses her mind. Snarling and grappling, trying to get it out of my hands. What in the fuck has gotten into her? She’s in a full-on rage. Now, I really want to see who she’s talking to. She keeps grabbing at my arms, it’s hard to keep the phone steady to read, but I hold her gaunt frame away from me while I pull up her messages.
Where u at?
I want my money. U said saturday, it’s tues. If u cn’t pay we’re going to have to find smthing else to xchng. Get it?
I’m getting cash now. Can you get me another $40?
