AllFreeNovel
Share Us
If only you knew, Papa.
* * *
Using my knuckle, I tapped gently on the mahogany door of our papa’s office.
‘Yes,’ Alessio replied.
Taking hold of the handle, I pushed down to release the catch and peered around the gap I’d made. I had no idea who I was expecting to find. When we’d been in Italy in previous years, our papa’s office was normally full of others coming and going, however when news had spread around our community of just what had happened and what Zeno had been accused of, we had been in the main left alone, and cast aside.
Alessio had assured me that the family business was still making the money we needed, but it wasn’t the money I was worried about. I worried for us as a family.
‘Lunch is ready,’ I imparted.
‘Thanks, I’ll be out in a minute. I need to talk over some business with Papa. Can you set me up a seat next to him, please?’ Alessio shuffled some papers and placed them into one of the drawers to the side of him, before locking it securely. My eighteen-year-old brother had aged over the past few weeks and as he ran a hand through his hair in exasperation and lifted his eyes to my own, I felt the full force of the weight he was carrying on his shoulders.
I had nothing to help him.
Unless?
‘Uncle Keith called this morning.’ I spoke to him about one of our mum’s brothers. ‘He said to remind you that he is willing to fly over at a minute’s notice.’
‘NO!’ Alessio slammed his open palm down onto the desk in front of him.
The action made me jump and intuitively lift my hand to protect my racing heart.
‘Sorry… I was only trying to help,’ I implored, pushing the door closed behind me in case anyone else heard our fraught conversation.
‘I know…’ He stood suddenly and after exhaling loudly he lifted both of his hands, linking the fingers together and placing them on top of his thick, dark mop of hair. ‘I’m sorry. He can’t come here though. I can’t explain why, but it could make our already tentative situation worse.’
‘Okay… then he suggested that we could go back to London, with Papa now home from the hospital.’
‘No can do.’
I’d known the answer before I’d even suggested London. I knew to the other members of the Ndrangheta it would look like our papa was guilty as silently charged. Going back to London was tantamount to running away.
‘I don’t know what else to say,’ I admitted in a small voice. Truth was, I wanted my comfortable life back, where I knew with absolute certainty that I wouldn’t see Salvatore’s face waiting for me around every corner.
Alessio sighed loudly as he made his way towards where I was beginning to shiver in the ditsy print, strappy summer dress I was wearing. Eventually, he stood in front of me and after rubbing his hands up and down my arms several times to warm me up, he bent his knees so he could look me in the eye.
‘You don’t need to come up with the answer, Sera… it’s not expected of you.’
‘Because I’m a woman.’ Anger flared suddenly inside me.
‘Yes… you understand our ways.’
‘Mmmm,’ I reluctantly agreed.
‘And you’re helping by making sure Dante and Mia complete the schoolwork they’ve been sent over… I know you’ve put your own studies on the backburner.’ What he said was true. I should have started my two year A-level course back in London, to get the qualifications I needed to get into university to study to become a doctor, like I’d always dreamed about. Instead, I read through the syllabus books any opportunity I got and had even downloaded practise papers in the hope I wouldn’t be too far behind when we eventually returned. But our lives back in London seemed like a dream that was much too far away to touch, let alone grab a hold of. ‘And you look after everybody,’ he added.
‘It doesn’t feel like enough,’ I admitted.
I watched as he twisted his head in question at me.
‘No?’ he questioned.
‘No… it’s not nearly enough. I think that the men in this community need to start understanding just how strong the women in their families really are.’
‘Okay… point noted.’ He sucked in his lips and released them with a pop, ‘But, do you really think that?’
