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‘You didn’t bother coming before,’ I accused.
‘I was here with you. You just didn’t see me, I made sure of it.’ His words hung between us, as did the pain we shared.
I closed my eyes and let what he’d said offer me a small modicum of comfort.
‘I knew, I felt you nearby,’ I whispered.
‘Today we get to think about our son together.’ He took a breath and changed his tone, ‘And as fate would have it, it’s also your graduation day, Dr De Luca… I wanted to be here to celebrate all that you’ve achieved.’
‘It’s Dr Giordano,’ I interjected.
I heard him intake a sharp inhale and through my pain I smiled with satisfaction when I recognised his anger and probable disappointment.
‘We’ll discuss that later, and just a reminder, our marriage vows were until death do us part,’ he added, showing his true colours again.
He hadn’t changed in the years that had passed. He blew hot and cold, and around we went again.
But I had changed, and he wasn’t going to get it all his own way.
‘That’s ridiculous. Youtoldme to go. We’ve been separated for five years, we’ve lived separate lives, with no interaction between us. Under English law, I’m sure I could file for divorce right now and have it granted without question.’ I watched my spittle leave my mouth as fuelled by anger I moved quickly, allowing my head to right itself as I turned to face him.
‘But you won’t.’ He spoke the words with determination and his posture stiffened. I ignored him, refusing to comment.
Disregarding the sudden shooting pain in my neck, I looked at him properly for the first time since he’d sat down beside me. The years we’d been apart might have been difficult for me, but it had to be said, he’d never looked better. At thirty-two, hints of grey were now sprinkled in his hairline and he looked distinguished as well as beautiful and formidable. Rather than just stubble, Salvatore wore a trimmed beard, which also had flecks of grey within it. His body had matured over the past few years, and I could see by the way he wore his suit that his muscular body had increased in size.
My body trembled ever so slightly, reacting viscerally at my discoveries.
‘In caseyouhadn’t realised, we also vowed to love and cherish, in sickness and health. You don’t get to pick and choose which parts you want and throw the others away, like you did me.’
‘I never threw you away, Serafina… You were coping with the loss of our unborn son. The life I led, with its constant blood shed between the families, wasn’t helping you… I did the only thing I could. I let you go to somewhere I knew you’d be safe. I let you go to somewhere I hoped you would heal.’
‘I haven’t healed.’ The words left me on a pain filled shout.
A deep, slow exhale left his mouth.
‘I kept you safe the only way I knew how.’
‘Without you.’
‘I promised I’d be back for you. I told you that there would always be an us… you heard those words, I know you did.’
I shrugged my shoulders in reply. I’d heard them. But as far as I was concerned, he didn’t need to know that.
‘Do you recall our last conversation at all, Serafina?’ he questioned, narrowing his eyes at me, and adjusting his large frame. He twisted around until he was mirroring my position and facing me. After pulling up the leg of his trousers, he bent his leg and placed his ankle to his opposite knee as he attempted to look more at ease with where our conversation was going.
It was no use; I saw that my questions were making him feel uncomfortable.
‘Not really.’ I shrugged my shoulders and bit into my cheek as the words of my lie left my mouth.
Truthfully, I remembered it word for word.
‘You’re lying, Serafina.’ He cleared his throat as he tried to make his tone sound less accusing. ‘You told me on our wedding night that I owed you a dream… we’d recently lost our unborn child and our lives two years later were anything but. I let you go to follow your other dream, the one of you becoming a doctor.’
For a few seconds, I was stunned. Did he really think that all the hurt he caused me was for my own benefit?
‘Salvatore, you make it all sound easy, when it’s so very far from it. You walked away from me when I needed you the most.’
‘I know and I’m not proud… But I also said that one day I’d be back for you, and I’m here now.’
