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I hummed, not able to talk about it with her. Reluctantly, I let go and followed her inside.
“Where’s Mom?” I asked, straining my ears to hear the sound of her singing from somewhere deep in the house.
“She just went out to do some shopping,” Vitoria said, dropping onto one of the sofas in the living room. She grabbed the remote and muted whatever TV show she’d been watching and looked back at me. “We didn’t know you’d be coming to visit us today, so we weren’t exactly prepared.”
“It hasn’t even been that long since I last visited,” I scolded.
She rolled her eyes. “You’ve been back home long enough to have visited us at least three times,” she corrected me, holding up three fingers to emphasize her point. “And yet, this is only your second visit. Spending time with your boss must bereallyfun if it's better than visiting us.”
“Shut up,” I muttered half-heartedly, my cheeks growing warm. “It’s not like that and you know it.”
“But you wish it was.” She shrugged. “So what’s stopping you?”
Everything.
I shook my head. “Professionalism,” I began, slicing a cold glare at her. “Morals, the need for a job to keep food on the table, did I mentionmorals?”
“Fuck morals,” Vitoria said before shooting a nervous glance over her shoulder. Once she’d determined Mom’s shoe wasn’t magically headed in her direction, she continued, “What do morals have to do with any of it? You both like each other, why leave it at that?”
“It's not going to happen, Toria.” I sighed, the weight on my chest getting heavier. “She’s my boss, and that’s it.”
I might not even have a job for much longer, I reminded myself.
“What happens when you and your boss go back to America?” she asked, and I froze.
I hadn’t even thought that far. We didn’t have that much time left in Brazil; I’d have to get started on booking our flights and arranging security. But after I’d confessed my past to Reid, would it even happen? Would she be comfortable on a long flight with me when she already hated flying so much?
Vitoria’s fingers snapped in front of my face, pulling me out of my thoughts and back to reality.
“Sorry,” I murmured, clearing my throat. “I don’t know what’ll happen. I know you’re just teasing but I… I really care about her. Going back to real life feels a little scary, to be honest.”
Vitoria’s brows furrowed, her lips pursed in confusion. “Why would it be scary?”
I shrugged, feeling a little self-conscious. “It feels like everything that happened here is going to disappear,” I admitted. “Or we’re going to pretend like none of it ever happened and that scares me. I don’t know if I can pretend that nothing happened when it meant so much to me.”
“Did it not mean anything to Reid?” she ventured, and I frowned.
“I honestly don’t know anymore.” I sighed. “There are these moments where I think she cares more than she should, and then those moments are obliterated by the tiniest things.”
Like her ignoring me in favor of whatever work she’d prioritized.
“But those small things might not even be that important,” she pointed out. “Maybe you’re just overthinking it. Have you even talked to her about any of this?”
“No.”
I doubted I’d ever get the chance.
“Then that’s probably where you should start.”
I shot her a hard stare and she smirked at me sagely.
“I can’t even think about leaving Brazil just yet,” I said softly, the truth slipping out so easily around my little sister. “I feel like we’ve barely been here. I haven’t even talked to any of my old friends.”
“Gio’s going to be pissed if you don’t visit him.” She cringed. “And you know who’s going to have to hear all about it? Me.”
“Come on.” I chuckled. “Gio loves you. So does Al. They adore you.”
“No, they adoretormentingme,” she corrected.
