Page 90 of Not In The Proposal


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Somewhere she didn’t have to hide.

The car ride back to the hotel was silent, and rather than pull out my phone to check my texts and emails like I usually would, every nerve in my body turned to Mia. Attuned to her every breath. Too shallow, still shaky, but getting better.

Her hands lay in her lap, her left thumb and forefinger tearing at her nail beds. Without a word, I reached over and slipped my hand between hers, gently pulling her fingers away from the raw skin.

“Is there anything else you want to do today?” I asked her, and she shook her head. “Then it’s okay if we go back to the hotel?”

She lifted glassy eyes to mine, her lips pressed into a thin, hard line. “If you want to go somewhere,” she said, each word sounding more painful than the last. “Then we can go. You don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine.”

I smiled, stomping out the hot flair of anger that crackled through me.Liar, I wanted to tell her. But I didn’t, because it would hurt her.

I also wanted to wrap her up in my arms and swear to make it okay. But I didn’t, because it would hurtme.

Selfishly, I worried that she might push me away, and the fissure that had already formed between us would crack open like a hole in the Earth and swallow me whole.

So the ride droned on, longer now that we’d traveled farther from the hotel. Upon my own insistence, I reminded myself with no shortage of regret.

When we reached the hotel I walked closer than I should have, as if some giant bird of prey might swoop down and steal her away from me. I really was starting to sound like Hayden…

“Um,” she said once we stepped into the elevator, “I’m just going to take a nap, if that’s okay.”

My spine straightened, and my gut twisted at the thought of her being alone. “No.”

She stared at me, and as the elevator doors dinged and opened, I walked out. Acid burned my tongue because who the fuck was I to deny heranything?

But I needed to know.

To help.

She hurried after me. “No?” she repeated, as if she hadn’t heard me the first time around. “Why not? All our work is up to date and we don’t have anything else-”

“We need to talk,” I told her flatly, swiping my card and unlocking the door.

Mia looked as if she’d rather stick hot pokers in her eyes, and it stung.

A lot.

But I waited, one hand on the door I held open for her. After a moment that stretched into eternity, she sighed and walked past me, not meeting my gaze. Taking a deep breath, mostly to calm my raging heart, I closed the door and locked it behind me.

“Tea?” I offered, and she blinked at me in confusion. “We can’t talk without something to drink, and you’re not a fan of coffee, so… Tea?”

Mia hovered in the hallway, looking so infinitely lost that it broke my heart.

“Tea it is,” I said. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll be done in a second.”

She nodded and shuffled out of her shoes, disappearing into the living room.

Not for the first time, I was grateful that our hotel rooms were equipped with kitchens. I had no idea how Mia managed to pull it off, but she always made sure we had everything we needed. Once again, I found myself keeping my hands busy in the kitchen to keep myself from pulling my own hair out.

How could I ask her about somethingthispersonal? I’d be stepping over so many lines. Alex’s voice popped into my head with an unhelpful “that ship sailed” and I ignored it.

I carried the two mugs to the living room.

Mia sat on the single seat sofa, her legs tucked under her.

“Here you go,” I said, handing her the mug of tea.

She took it from me, her fingers icy. Thanks.”

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