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He nods toward the direction where Alex was sitting. “Has he texted you recently?”
Damn. He hasn’t. I’d usually have a million texts in one day, but ever since the party, he’s been radio silent. I guess the only odd thing is that he showed up here at the same time we did, but that could be a weird coincidence.
Ryan takes my silence as answer enough and continues on, “We can keep up the ruse until Alex gets the hint to leave you alone. I’m not going to lie and say I think he’s done because him showing up here wasn’t a coincidence.”
Wasn’t it though? I don’t want to think about Alex following me around everywhere. It leaves me feeling unsettled and causes me to cast a glance around the restaurant.
“Hey,” Ryan says, gripping my chin and turning my face until I’m looking into his eyes. “He won’t be able to hurt you as long as you’re with me.”
Before I can answer, the waiter comes to our table with our plates of food and we eat in heavy silence. I wouldn’t say it’s uncomfortable, but there’s a question still hanging in the air between us that causes tension.
What if we don’t do anything?
The same question from him earlier that wasn’t running through my mind is doing nothing but that now. I catch Ryan’s gaze from across the table, watching him chew his food with the confidence he exudes in every other facet of his life. I wish I could hate the answer I give him.
“Okay,” I say.
The problem? I don’t hate my answer at all, but I’m hoping that I won’t end up giving my heart to another man in this city just for him to break it. Because as I watch his perfect smile take over his perfect face, I get the feeling that I might just be able to fall for him and I know he would never catch me.
* * *
Before we part ways in the elevator back at work, I press the red button to stop it from moving and turn to him. “I need you to understand something,” I say.
He nods, giving me his full attention, and I take a deep breath. “I’m thinking about going back home. That’s how long we will keep this up, until I decide if I’m going back or not.”
“Can I ask why you’re thinking about leaving?”
I look away from him, feeling embarrassed that I moved my entire life for someone who couldn’t be loyal to me.
Ryan does the same thing he did in the restaurant and grips my chin with his fingers, turning my gaze over to him, and gives me a stern frown. “That’s not what we do. You can talk to me, you don’t need to be embarrassed. Understand?”
My nod is enough to have him pulling away from me and waiting patiently for my answer.
I sigh. “Alex was the reason I came here. I gave up the life I always wanted for someone who I wasn’t good enough for.”
My eyes are stinging with tears and I try to look away, hating how emotional I’m getting over this right now. Alex always tried getting me to have sex with him, and thank goodness I caught him when I did. I’m not entirely sure what even made me want to take that next step with him in the first place. Maybe it was that fact that he always made me feel less than when he’d try and I’d deny him anything. And, of course, the moment I want to take it I figure out why it always felt wrong in the first place. I chalked it up to nerves rather than my heart telling me he wasn’t the one.
Men like Alex and Ryan see sex as something meaningless, but that’s not who I am. It’s important to me.
“Baby,” he says before cutting the distance between us and cupping my cheeks in his big hands. “Don’t cry, he doesn’t deserve your tears.”
“I just- I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough.”
Ryan shakes his head. “Don’t put this on you.Heis the one who wasn’t good enough foryou.”
I nod, trying my hardest to believe the words he’s saying but not knowing how to. As if understanding where my thoughts are at, he presses the red button again and slips his hand into mine before pulling me onto my floor. He follows me to my desk, but kisses me softly before turning away and heading back to the elevators.
Millie squeals in her chair beside me, the biggest smile plastered on her pretty face, before rushing over to me.
And me? I stand glued to the floor, so dumbfounded by his show of affection in front of my entire floor that I can’t bring myself to answer any of Millie’s million questions. His smile is the last thing I see before the elevator doors close, and that’s enough to snap me back to reality.
“Girl, you got it bad!” Millie says from beside me.
Woah. “Slow your roll, no one’s got anything.”
She only rolls her eyes and heads back to her own seat, getting back to work and leaving me to touch my lips with a smile. I hope to God that Millie is wrong, the last thing I need is to fall for someone who doesn’t see me in their future. I’m merely a means to an end.
Before the end of my shift, a delivery guy from one of the floral shops down the road stumbles through the door holding a single rose. “Uh, is there an Ava?”
