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“Breathe, baby.”
I’m trying. Really trying, but I can’t. I’m trying to claw my way through the fog so that I can get to air, but it’s not working. Ryan tugs me away from the room, pulling me down the hall until we get into the living room, and that’s when I can finally breathe.
His eyes are full of concern, not anger. He’s not angry at me for having a panic attack. I thought he’d hate having to deal with me like this, but he’s only worried about me. His hand on my cheek sends an electric current running through me that instantly scares the edge away and I’m left wondering how the hell I’ll get through this when we are done with our arrangement.
Is it bad for me to want this with him? I want more. Something real.
“I need you to help me understand what’s going on, Ava. Let me help you.”
His tone is soft and nurturing, filling me with a sense of safety that I haven’t felt in a long while. It almost makes me want to forget about going home and stay here with him instead, but that would be putting myself in the same position I was in with Alex.
I sigh, my gaze darting from the hall where my room is, then moving to the hall where his room is. His gaze follows mine, trying to understand what I’m getting at and I quietly tell him, “My room is on the right, it reminds me of the incident with Alex.”
As soon as the words are out of my mouth he lifts his phone from his pocket, dials someone almost and tells them to come move furniture around.
My eyes are watering, hating that I’m the reason he’s changing his space around. “No,” I say, trying to stop him.
He eyes me, but continues talking to the other person on the phone, ignoring my plea. When the phone call ends, he grips my face and kisses me tenderly. It’s everything I needed in this moment, something that he must have realized, and I cling to him like he’s the only air I need to breathe.
The moment ends far too soon and he’s pulling away from me, a light shining in his eyes that I can’t quite place.
“I’ll take care of you,” he says. As if that’s reasoning enough for everything that he’s done for me. “Go back into my room, I’ll search through your things and find you something to wear. I’m taking you to a proper dinner tonight.”
“Oh. Uh, okay.” Before he can get too far away from me, I press a quick kiss on his cheek with a sad smile. “And, thank you.”
He gives me a smile back before nodding and pushing me toward his room. It doesn’t take long for him to walk back in with a red dress in his arms and a pair of my heels. Millie would approve of his taste, that’s for sure.
I take a little bit to get ready, then we are heading out the door and into the crowded streets of New York. Tonight is a nice night for walking and Ryan didn’t seem to complain too much when I said I’d like to walk to the restaurant. It’s only a couple blocks away.
When we get seated at one of the tables, Ryan takes one of my hands and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I like you, Ava.”
“What do you mean?”
He groans and runs a hand through his slicked-back hair. “I suck at relationships, but I want the real thing with you.”
And in the moment, my heart falls right into the palm of his hands.
Chapter14
Ryan
Ava’s hand trembles slightly in mine, looking around the room nervously, before gazing back at me. “Are there cameras somewhere I don’t know about?”
I chuckle while shaking my head. “This is real, and I’m telling you that I want the real thing with you. Not this fake bullshit we conjured up.”
She takes a deep breath, giving me a small smile, but it’s still not as bright as I hoped it would be. “Why would you want to be with me?”
“I can be myself around you, not the guy everyone expects me to be. Ever since you walked into my home, you’ve slowly made it your own as well and I can’t help but feel safe with you in it. With your touch throughout. I knowI’msupposed to be the one keepingyousafe, but you’ve managed to waltz right into my life, bringing with you an adventure and calmness to my days that I never thought I’d get again.”
Her eyes are glistening with unshed tears as she stares at me, the brown of her eyes lightening at my words. It sends a wave of relief through me that maybe she feels the same way about me. I would hope so anyway.
She clears her throat, but just before she can get a response in, the waiter comes to our table to take our order.
The rest of the night is spent talking about any and everything. I learn a lot about her family back home and how much she loved living in Willow Peaks. My heart deflated at her talk of going back, but picked right back up when she clarified that she didn’t think she would be leaving anytime soon. If at all.
It was the way she spoke about her parents that made me smile the most. I could tell how much she loved and missed them, but also how well she was brought up by them. They raised her right, especially with how determined and independent she is after being here for only a few months, going through a nasty breakup, then dealing with Alex.
She’s stronger than she gives herself credit for, and it’s just another reason for me to slowly start falling for her.
