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“How did it go last night?” No preamble, no how are you, always down to business.
Immediately I remember our little wedding idea, eloping with Carter just to get everyone off our backs. If I said yes to him, then my parents wouldn’t bother me. But I can’t. It’s just not something I can do.
I close my eyes and lean against the wall. “Mom, I really don’t want to talk about my love life right now. It’s exhausting to constantly hear about it. Can we just talk about something,anythingelse?”
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry the date didn’t go well. I know we’re asking a lot from you. I just want you to be happy. You know that right?”
“Yes, Mom, I know,” I huff out.
She does want me to be happy, I know that. But must she push me like this?
“Speaking of your happiness,” Mom continues. “There’s this young lawyer at our church, and he recently got a divorce. We’d love if you could –”
“Mom, stop! I’m too busy to date right now. I have so much going on, and a man is the last thing I want. I don’t need you to keep setting me up over and over again, okay? Let me do this on my own!”
I don’t wait to hear her response, I immediately hang up the phone, groaning in frustration. Why can’t she just listen to me when I have an opinion?
I love my parents, I really do, but over and over again with these blind dates, continuing to think they can help me. They just don’t get it!
Take a breath, Jade. Don’t let them bother you. You’re okay.
I stretch out my muscles and take some deep breaths before deciding to just go back to work.
I get back behind the bar and stand next to Heidi, who doesn’t seem to notice my sour attitude. But that’s fine.
A song I recognize starts playing in the bar, and I allow my mind to go blank. I start moving with the music, dancing in place, determined to find something positive in this moment before Mom drives me up a damn wall.
I’m not sure how much patience I have left anymore.
7
CARTER
“Mom? It’s Carter, I’m here.” I close the front door and look around, trying to figure out what room she’s in today. I usually find her on the couch, but one turn tells me I’ll have to venture further into the house.
I make my way to her room, finding her in bed reading a romance book. She looks up at me and smiles, and I have to hide my real reaction to seeing her.
It hasn’t been too long since my last visit, but she looks like she’s fading fast. She goes to the hospital often for her chemo sessions, which are supposed to be keeping her going. Even though it’s supposed to keep her alive, I know the chemo is poisoning her, too. No matter how strong my mother ever seemed, she is clearly struggling and disappearing before my eyes.
It’s absolutely terrifying.
“Hi, honey,” she says. Even her voice is a little weak today. She puts down her book and pats a section of the bed next to her. “Come sit. How are you?”
I hold back my emotions as I come closer to sit next to Mom.
She touches my arm, and I see just how skinny her arm and hand are. I despise cancer. I don’t know how she’s still sitting up at this point.
“I’m okay, Mom, how are you? How’s chemo?”
I can see how chemo is going, it’s killing her. But I act as if I don’t even notice. I don’t want to upset her, especially because I know it’s a matter of time before she starts questioning me about my date.
She entertains me for a couple minutes by talking about herself, but as usual, it always turns back to me and women.
“So how was it, Carter? Your date, was it good? Did you like her? Was she sweet? I can’t help but wonder when we’ll finally get to plan your wedding. I don’t know how much time I have left, and I want more than anything for you to be happily married. I want someone to make my sweet boy happy.”
The desperation in her voice is impossible to miss, let alone ignore. I wish this wasn’t so important to her. Why couldn’t it just be a trip to Disney World or Paris? Something that’s easier to guarantee her.
But I can’t admit to her that the date was fake. She wants this so badly. I can’t tell her the truth, but I sure as hell can’t give her a false sense of hope that I’ve met the woman of my dreams.
