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“Living with her has been just as great, as she says. Great isn’t even the right word to use, and I can’t wait to see where the future takes us,” he says with a smile that’s so genuine, it hurts.
“Neither can I,” I reciprocate.
“Gosh, Carter. I didn’t think you had it in you,” says his mom.
“Had what?”
She makes a circle with her hand in the air in front of her face. “This. The ability to be a…” She shrugs. “Swoon worthy guy.”
Carter explodes with laughter. “Come on.”
“I figured that’s why none of your relationships worked. I’m so glad you found someone to bring out this side of you.”
She stretches her arm towards me. Her movements are slow and measured like always. I meet her halfway, and we grasp hands.
“Thank you, for taming my wild beast.”
“The pleasure has been all mine.” I squeeze her hand back.
“I hate to cut your tender moment, but I have a bone to pick with you,” he says. “A wild beast? Really? I wasn’t that bad.”
“Now don’t let me remind you…”
I zone out as the back and forth continues between mother and son. A fake marriage isn’t supposed to be interspersed with such authentic emotions and moments, I’m certain.We have to define the relationship tonight.
The thought of bringing it up sends a tingle up my spine. Not in a good way. I knew what this was from the jump, but it's clearly turned on its head.
It hits me as I sit there holding his hand that I want him to feel the same way I do. The worst part of this isn’t the fact that he doesn’t – it’s the torture of never quite knowing for sure.
And now, his mom is as invested in this as I am. If my feelings are deeper than his, and this all blows up in my face, she's going to get caught in the fall out. I can’t risk it. We need clarification, and now.
I’m quiet on the ride home.Just how much of his actions tonight – hell, for the past week – were an act?It’s the thought that keeps running through my head.I brace myself to find out as he pulls up at our place.
31
CARTER
Itry to make conversation as we make our way back home, but Jada is uncharacteristically quiet. I figure she must just be tired and when we walk inside, I decide an early night is probably on the cards.
“Want to go to bed?” I say, smiling warmly.
I’m always happy to go to bed with her, and tonight is no different. Only I notice she looks a little worried and rather than make her way to the bedroom, she sits on the living room couch, peering up at me with a worried look in her eyes.
“Not yet,” she replies, and it’s clear there’s something she wants to say.
“Everything okay?” I ask her, sitting down on the lounge chair beside the couch.
She’s turning her wedding ring around her finger over and over again, and I get the feeling she’s nervous about something. It takes her a while to answer though.
“I’ve really been enjoying our time together,” she finally says, and there’s the hint of a quaver in her voice. “The wedding, the honeymoon, living with you – like, really, it’s been amazing.”
“For me too,” I tell her with a smile, and I mean it. But her fingers are still fidgeting with the ring.
“The thing is,” she continues and now her voice is definitely edged with nerves. “This was all supposed to be pretend. But it’s not pretend any more. We both know that. We kiss, we cuddle, we have sex, we behave like a couple, and… I don’t know how much of that is genuine and how much of it is an act.”
She looks at me with her deep brown eyes, searching me for an answer, but I’m surprised that this is even a question.
“None of it is an act,” I tell her, and I hope she can hear in my voice that it’s the truth. “I like you.”
