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Enzo isn’t into me in the real world, and I have to get used to that fact and move on. What we had was amazing, and it even had me questioning my own sanity at one point. I don’t honestly know how I am going to be able to look at him in the same light again after where his mouth and his dick’s been, but he’s right about one thing, we knew the drill when we went for it.
And I have to live with that.
I have to hold my head up high and pretend he means nothing to me.
I’m a Medici. I’ve been doing this my whole life. I just never thought I’d have to fake it with Enzo.
13
ENZO
TWO MONTHS LATER
Four fuckingmiserable weeks have gone by and each one feels like it’s stretched out to an eternity.
I keep getting flashbacks of Valentina, mixed with her laugh, her smile, the way she holds herself and gives you her full attention when you speak. There is nothing about her that I don’t like, that is, aside from her temper and sarcasm.
I’ve texted her here and there, but I’ve been so busy with this whole new mess with Angelo’s new girlfriend, Rayne, and her sister getting kidnapped and held for ransom, that I’ve barely been able to scratch myself, much less fit Valentina in.
The only time I’ve seen her is when her mother’s around because they’ve been in lockdown at Fortress, or at Marco’s place, and I can’t exactly accost her in the presence of her Ma who will smell a rat before I even open my mouth.
At least the threat is now over.
Angelo and Rayne are good. Marco and his girl, the Russian ex-mafia Princess herself, Katiya, have nobody on their tails, and Aleksi Petrov and the Medicis have come to a truce.
At least for the moment.
So much can fucking happen in one month.
I’ve missed every second of her, that part I get, I just don’t know why.
I’ve spent time with other chicks before, hell, I’ve had serious relationships, but I can safely say that none of them have been as intense as that weekend with Valentina.
We have a history, I get that, and she’s off-limits, I get that too. But the only way to describe it is like I’ve had love heroin and now somebody is dangling it in front of me, just out of reach, and if I do succumb and take it, I’ll ruin everything and lose my best friend, and probably my job and my career. Angelo trusted me, and I lied to him.
Every day that goes by that I think about her, I continue to live it. And I usually tell Angelo everything, and he does me. We’re best friends and confidants. I know that I can tell him anything and he’d understand… except this.
I cannot tell him that I have feelings for his sister that go way beyond a weekend romp in a fancy hotel. That I care about her and want what’s best for her. That the sex is just a small part of it. I actually fucking like her.
It’s like I’m in this permanent state of hell that I can’t break free from, and I don’t know if I ever will.
I knew that going into this it was all wrong. That it would be hard seeing her after what we did and what I want to keep doing. But lust took over. I have no excuse. I wanted her and I took her, and for that, I have no regrets. The only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner, oh, and that now I’m living in a permanent state of purgatory because of my actions.
I’ve no one to blame except myself. I knew what I was doing when I took her over my knee because that was past the point of no return.
My cock twitches at the thought of her delectable ass bent over my lap as I made her count the smacks for her punishment, which was for talking back to me with that dirty mouth, until she was begging me to take her.
Then there’s the easy way we talked any time I had her alone, the comfort of it unmatched. And seeing her enjoy herself for a few days without stress was amazing, as long as that doesn’t include some asshole trying to chat her up.
Which reminds me, she’s going out this weekend with Bianca and a bunch of friends to this hip new club, one that doesn’t belong to the Medicis. I had no intention of going, but with Darko currently involved in a new job with Angelo, he’s kind of asked me to step in with Rocco and watch them for the evening. I know that this is a huge ask.
Chicks go to clubs to dance, get felt up by men, and potentially leave with them.
I cannot let Valentina leave with another man, I won’t. And she’d probably just tease and flirt with some poor schmuck just to get even with me. I know she’s pissed.
We had a moment at the Fortress when she was staying there under lockdown. It would have been so fucking easy to sneak into her room and fuck her quietly, make her remember where I’ve been and how much she means to me, but then I remembered where the fuck I was, and that Angelo was under the same roof. It’s not my house.
And her ma was in the next room.
