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“Your point?”
“That I don’t dislike it.”
“Are you saying this for shock value?”
“Babe, if I wanted shock value, I’d flash you my cock.”
Her eyes go wide.
I wet my lips as her eyes flick down to my crotch.
I’m hard.
I always am for Sage.Still.
And I’ve struggled. I’ve debated with this over and over in my mind, and I’ve only come up with the same conclusion, as stupid as it sounds.
I want her back.
I know I shouldn’t even be thinking about it, and this isn’t about sex. If I wanted sex, we’d hook up.
Like we used to do before things got too serious and she got pregnant.
I close my eyes.
When I open them, she asks, “Where did you go?”
I clear my throat, circling my finger around the rim of my wineglass. “I was thinking about how you’d look with my kid inside you.”
She gasps.
I laugh. “I’m kidding.” To show her who I really am, what I really want, she’d run.
So I put on this pretense; that way, I guard myself. If she ever left me again, I wouldn’t recover this time.
It’s why I’ve debated about even being around her.
Imagining her making a life with another guy seems absurd. I’m lucky she hasn’t found a man in all this time… then again, she has dated a couple…
She takes a long sip of her wine, and I know she’s thinking about it too.
“He or she would be twelve years old now.” Her voice is so faint, it’s almost a whisper.
I can’t help it, I reach out and brush her shoulder with my hand.
“I’m sorry, that was insensitive of me.”
“What if I never meet someone… or get the chance to have a baby again?”
The minute the words are out, I go rigid.
Is she… is she really thinking that she could meet somebody else? Have someone else’s kid growing inside her? A kid that isn’t mine? Is she insane?
“Wait.. what?” I’m about to prompt her about the brochures I saw in the kitchen, because now the pieces are slowly forming together in my head.
Before I even have the chance to elaborate, she goes on, “I’ve thought about… about having invitro… My biological clock is ticking, Fynn. It’s not like I’ve met anyone in the last ten years, so I have to start thinking about the future.”
My head spins.
