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He doesn’t own me like I’m one of his fancy cars. He doesn’t get to tell me what I can do with my body or my life just because once upon a time he was in it.
But I guess when I simmer down, I realize that it’s his overbearing protective surge. It’s like he can’t help himself. And he’s always been like this.
He had people monitoring me and watching me all those years I was away, for heaven’s sake, so what are the chances he’s going to be all cool about me having another man’s baby?
Not likely.
Well, it’s just too bad for him. If he wanted to be the father of my kids, he should have made it clear long before now. He can’t just go inserting himself back into my life, and being all bossy and demanding, telling me what I can and can’t do.
The man has some nerve! As much as I still adore him, I could actually choke him with my bare hands.
I’m still reeling from the news about Cam, and his death. Everything he put me through… the memories flood back as I try to shut them out. It will do me no good to go back to that time, I’ve worked too hard to let that drag me down again.
The sense of relief I feel overwhelms me. I guess I always assumed he’d either drowned, or if he had survived, he was smart enough to disappear for good. Obviously, he wasn’t that smart at all.
The thought makes me sick. I shut out most of that period of my life after copious amounts of therapy. It helped me so much, and I really don’t want to revisit that time, not for anything.
I’m in a good place now.
Putting aside how things ended tonight, there were parts of our interaction where Fynn and I really connected, and it hasn’t felt like that in quite a while. Then he had to go and ruin it.
Sometimes, though, it’s hard to take him seriously when all I see week after week is a bevy of women on his arm.
All you have to do is google him to get the full enchilada on his love life.
There have been plenty of women over the years, but he never keeps any of them around. I wonder why that is.
While I’m blissfully soaking in the tub, finishing off the wine, I think about Fynn’s reaction to seeing the invitro paperwork again. I can’t get it out of my head how he completely lost it. Maybe he was in shock, but he was very clear about the fact that he wasn’t happy. That he wanted to be the one.
That does things to me.
I didn’t intend for him to find out like this… but I do want a baby, and soon. My maternal instincts are kicking in, as is my biological clock, and when I set my mind to something, I don’t stop until I reach that goal.
Fynn can either be with me, or against me.
I’m in a space where I know I can actually do it. There is nothing stopping me.
Except…
The thought of Fynn’s baby…
If you’re gonna be having anyone’s baby, Sage, it’s gonna be mine. Period.
I try not to see red all over again.
In some respects, this is the real me and Fynn. Where we can be open and honest, like we’ve been since we were kids. But that doesn’t mean he gets to call the shots.
Far from it.
He might have women fawning all over him right across this city, but I know how Fynn works. I know that when he’s with you, he makes you feel like the only woman in the world.
He means it.
He means it with everybody. That’s the problem.
Not only that, but beneath the cheeky, boyish exterior, he has a kind heart. I know this for a fact. He’s always looked out for me.
I can’t blame him for moving on in life after I went to California. We both did. I just never moved on with anyone else, and I’ve no idea where that leaves us.
