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I know it’s true.
Imagining her naked… me peeling those scrubs off her body, cupping her small, perky tits in my hands as I finger her pussy… fuck… I want it all. I want every damn thing she’s got to give.
“Is it? You don’t have feelings for me? Is that it?”
“I’ll always have feelings for you, but there’s a reason we didn’t work the first time, we were in different phases of our lives with careers to pursue for starters. And in any case, we’re not discussing getting back together…”
I let the words hang. Aren’t we?
“We’d make good parents.”
“But you want more?”
I don’t answer. Instead, I look down at my bowl, unable to form the right words in fear she’ll run. I guess it’s a little too late for that in any case.
“There’s a big part of me that wants to know, yes,” I say. “Come on, you can’t tell me that you don’t wonder?”
She sighs as she finishes her dinner and places the spoon down. “It’s too hard for me to go there, Fynn. Of course I’ve thought of it over the years, especially back at that time when you saved me. But I guess I convinced myself as time went on that it wouldn’t happen.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t save you, Sage. I’m not some fucking saint.” We’ve been fighting about this for years.
“Yes, you did,” she tells me adamantly. “You can’t say otherwise, but that isn’t what this is about. I was just saying I thought about it a lot at that time.”
“It was the hardest thing for me to do, watching you go.”
She glances up at me with those mesmerizing hazel eyes. “You said it was for the best.”
“And it was,” I concede. “I don’t regret all parts of it… look at what you’ve become. You did it. You really fucking did it, Sage. You became a doctor like you always wanted.”
Her eyes cloud over, and she looks down. I don’t want to make her sad or feel like either of us should have regrets. We can’t go back, there’s only now.
“Thank you,” she says. “Your support for me finishing my degree has always meant a lot to me.”
“I could never be selfish with you back then; you had a long way to go. I never wanted to hold you back.”
“It’s okay.” Her voice is almost a whisper. “It wasn’t the right time then. I guess I have a lot to think about.”
“At least you’re not saying no. I thought I’d be wearing the chowder.”
She smiles and picks up her wineglass. “You think I’m going to start throwing things at you?”
I tilt my head on the side and smile. “You never know.” I reach over and squeeze her hand. “Will you have dessert with me?” There’s a double-edged meaning to my words, and we both know it. I can’t keep the innuendo out of my tone.
I don’t just want to fuck her. And I don’t just want a baby. I want so much more. But I have to make it up to her. I have to show her that I’m not the playboy she thinks I am. I am capable of more.
“I should really get home,” she says softly, and my heart drops. “I’ve had a long day.”
I nod. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“That was delicious.”
“Told ya.”
She needs time to think, I get that. But I need her decision soon.
And she can think again if she really believes that I’ll sign any damn paperwork so our baby can be made in a test tube. Nope. Not happening.
I need to show her that I am the kind of man who she could fall in love with again.
