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“You’ll be fine,” Charlie whispers to me, echoing my thoughts.
I pull her into a hug, squeezing her and refusing to let go. When I release her, Charlie’s eyes are filled with tears, which is very unlike her. She doesn’t say another word, just walks away.
I feel so guilty bringing all of this to their doorstep. In my determination to protect myself, I’ve put more people I’ve grown to love right in the crosshairs.
“Hey, Sis,” Andrew says, walking up behind me. “The cameras are working perfectly. Jack, Irene, and I were able to see and hear through the whole morning rush.”
“Good,” I reply, unsure what else to say.
“How about a cup of coffee with your brother?” he asks.
“Sure thing.” I try to put some pep in my voice, but I don’t know how convincing it was. There’s no reason to be so down. I’m about to get my life back.
I pour a cup of black coffee for Andrew and make a cup for myself how I like it. He takes his, and we walk over to a table by the window, just as planned.
Glancing out the window, I don’t notice anything out of place. The little town moves along as it normally does.
“Jack told me Christopher is already here.” Andrew’s words break through the silence. He studies me, his softness from earlier gone. I wonder if he’s trying to ready himself, like we all are.
“Yeah. I didn’t expect to have such an extreme reaction to seeing him,” I tell him.
He nods. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I’m sorry for everything.” He somewhat hangs his head, which is very unlike the version of Andrew I’ve grown used to.
“What did you want to tell me? You said you’d tell me in person,” I ask, determined to know the truth about everything.
Startled by my bluntness, he shifts uncomfortably. He blows out a breath as he stares at his coffee for a moment, both hands on his mug.
“Years ago,” he begins, “something happened in college.” He pauses, looking directly at me and holding my gaze. “Something that I have been fighting to make right ever since.” Stopping again, he takes a deep breath. “I should have stood up to them then, but I didn’t and it’s a regret that I battle with every day...” His voice is full of pain.
Vagueness isn’t going to cut it for me. “What does that mean? I don’t understand Andrew. How am I supposed to trust you when you won’t tell me the truth?” I ask, pressing him to tell the damn story.
“I know that I’m asking too much of you and Addy. I know that I haven’t been the brother that both of you needed but I wastrying. I thought I was doing the right thing for all of us. I thought I could take the burden and the two of you could live your lives how you wanted. But I was fooling myself. Ever since dad pushed you and Christopher together, nothing has gone the way it was supposed to.”
He shakes his head, cutting his eyes to a camera and back to me. “I can’t go into all the details right now. I’m asking for you to trust me. I take responsibility for my lack of action and for the snowball effect it’s had on our family. You most of all. You wouldn’t be in this situation if I’d had a backbone all those years ago. I’ll regret that day until the day I die, Andrea. I’m here today in an effort to make things right.”
Reaching across the table, he squeezes my hand. “Please try to understand,” he says, almost a whisper.
I scoff, my feelings towards Andrew are muddied and confusing. My gut tells me I can trust him, but my gut failed me with Christopher. I need to think long and hard about what Andrew is saying and if I’m willing to wait for answers. I can see sincerity and regret in his eyes, I can also see the love he has for me. For now, I have no choice but to trust him. “I’ll try, but I want the whole truth. You know I deserve that,” I tell him sternly.
His relieved smile eases some of the tension I have built up in my shoulders. “There’s the fiery girl I’m used to.” He chuckles.
I release his hand, sitting back. “I better get back to work. This day is going to drag ass as long as I’m sitting on mine.” I need time to think. My mind is going back to every interaction I’ve had with my brother over the past several years. Scene after scene, all of them showing a stoic but sad Andrew. I shake my head, trying to dislodge all the memories that are bombarding me. I need to focus; we have to take Christopher down then I can worry about all the rest of this.
“I’m going to get going. I’ll be close by,” he says, standing. I round the table and pull him into a hug. Squeezing me, he says, “It’s almost over, Andrea. And we’ll have our lives back.” He steps back. “I like Jack, by the way. I think he might want to kill me, rightfully so at this point, but he’s good by me,” he says with a laugh.
I’m a little embarrassed by his words. “Well, that’s good because I think he’ll be sticking around.” I sigh, my eyes meeting his. The weight of one stage of this plan passing only to begin the next weighs on me. “Bye, Andrew.”
He shakes his head. “See you later,” he says, emphasizing this isn’t goodbye.
He slips out the door without looking back, a small smile pulls at my lips. I may be as confused as ever on what Andrew is alluding to but I won’t deny that it was good to see him. It isn’t until he is gone that it dawns on me that he said “I should have stood up to them” them as in plural.Who the hell is he talking about if it isn’t just Christopher. I close my eyes and take in a cleansing breath. One thing at a damn time because frankly that’s all I can handle right now. “Worrying won’t change a thing.” Irene’s voice breaks my train of thought.
I give her a tight smile, knowing she’s right. Seems she always is.
My eyes open and land on the only painting I’ve painted since being in Colorado. I promise myself that if I survive today,whenI survive today, I’ll make time to paint more.
“Maybe tomorrow we can come in and you can give me a price of doing a mural wall,” she says, trying to distract me.
I laugh. “I’ve never done a mural before, but I’m willing to try.”
