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Pushing the rest of my lunch away, I rested on my elbow. “I never got to say thank you for helping me this morning. You’re a good nurse.”
“Next time we play nurse and patient, I don’t want you to be actually sick. You’ve got—” He stopped mid-sentence, and I heard muffled voices on the other end of the phone. “Gem, I’ve got to go. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”
“Okay. I love you.”
“You too.”
I clicked my phone off to find Alex bent over the counter, hands on either side of his face, staring at me with princess eyes. “What?”
He uncurled himself. “You and your…” He folded his hands next to his ear, lifting a leg up behind him, belting out a silly little tune.
“What about it?” I threw away my leftovers, not hungry anymore.
“You’re extra swoony today. Although if I were sleeping with that Adonis, I’d be swooning too.”
“He wants me to move in with him,” I said, my stomach feeling a little queasy.
“What?” Alex jumped up like a jungle cat to sit on the counter. “Tell me everything. What did he say? What did you say?”
I skimmed my fingers over my throat, struggling with my decision and this apparent food poisoning. “He said it was stupid that we’re always going from his place to my place, we should just make it one place.”
“And?” Alex circled his fingers.
“And I said that it was a big deal, and we should talk about it after the new year.”
He laced his fingers together, placing them on his leg, one crossed over the other—lecture mode—and I groaned inwardly. “From one girl to another,” he said with a stiff shake of his head, “you are such a pussy when it comes to love.”
“I hate that word used in that context.” I tied up my hair, suddenly hot.
“Yes, I know,” Alex said, waving his hand by his head. “The vagina is the strongest organ, able to survive childbirth, blah, blah. I’ve sat through your TED Talk, so now you need to sit through mine.”
I clunked my head on the counter, letting it cool my cheek.
“He loves you, you love him, you have to stop pretending you don’t know it. That boy has shown up for you over and over, right? I know it was all hate you, fuck you in the beginning, but he’s shown you how he can and will support you.”
Too drained to argue, I let him continue, even as my throat grew thick. I took another deep breath.
“If you want to be with him, be with him. You can’t let your past dictate your future. Not every man will walk out on you. Or, if you can’t work through your fear, you’ll always be stuck where you are, without that beautiful man.” He sighed exaggeratedly. “And that would be the real travesty.”
Alex made sense, I knew that, but still. It was hard to take that big of a leap. I required baby steps, and saying I love you to Jason already felt like walking before I’d learned to crawl.
Alex hopped to the floor, fixing his hair. “Besides, it’s bound to happen anyway, right? First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.”
I shook my head, my thoughts and stomach churning, and opened a bottle of green tea. As I tried to take a sip, my insides lurched. The nausea came back full force, and I covered my mouth. “I’m going to be sick.”
In a flash, Alex had the garbage can in front of me. In between gagging fits, I explained I was sick from last night.
“Sweetie, I don’t think it’s from beer or bad food.”
I hung my head between my knees. “I think you’re right.”
“It’s probably a stomach bug. Go home and rest.”
“No, I’m okay,” I said, shoving aside the bangs stuck to my damp forehead.
“Go home.” Alex held up my bag and pressed a small bottle of ginger into my palm. “Take this. It’ll help settle your stomach.”
A few hours later, Jason opened my apartment door with his arms full of shopping bags. I smiled, glancing up from the television, and yawned an inaudible greeting.
