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I knew what she meant, and that was why I was fast to say, “No.”
The phone was silent for a while, until she echoed, “No? What do you mean,no?”
“I don’t need to use your services anymore.” I didn’t wait for her to say anything else; I hung up and walked to where my car was parked, getting in. My phone rang again, but I didn’t answer it. If she knew what was good for her, she’d give it up and leave me be. If she kept pestering me… I didn’t know what I’d do. All I knew was I didn’t have time for her anymore.
I didn’t want her. I wanted someone else.
Chapter Seven – Taylor
Beth and I sat across from each other on a picnic bench in one of the few green places on campus. Most of it was all tall buildings, being that we were in the city, but they tried to make do with what space they had. A few trees here and there, along with flowers meticulously cared for.
The wind was bad today, so my hair was drawn up in a high ponytail. That didn’t stop the ends from whipping about, but at least it wasn’t in my face. My neck still held bruises, but they’d finally started to lessen a little. Mostly I used a hell of a lot of makeup to cover it up.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay now?” Beth was busy asking as she stuffed her face with a piece of the pizza we were sharing for lunch. She’d used her meal plan to get it; she often shared her food with me. Since I lived off-campus, I didn’t bother with a meal plan. It would just add more to the loans on my account. “You still look a little… off.”
“I’m not at one hundred percent,” I told her, “but I’m getting there.” I took a bite from the slice I’d taken, chewing and swallowing before I added, “I didn’t want to miss any other classes. One week was enough. As it is, I don’t really talk to anyone in my criminology class, so I don’t know how I’m going to get notes from the lectures I missed.”
I wouldn’t call myself a perfectionist, but I tried. I tried hard, and I didn’t like failing. It was like every good grade, every passed test and well-written research paper was one step closer to a better life for me. A life away from my dad.
He was my dad, but he wasn’t a nice man. It was always my plan to get away from him, to move out of his house as soon as I could, even if that meant I had to stop by his house and check up on him, help him and all that. Make sure his bills were paid, the house wasn’t a mess, all that stuff. Things I did now—or did before I’d left.
My throat burned, as if reminding me of how angry he’d been that day, but I tried to ignore it, focusing instead on Beth and what she was saying: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. People miss class all the time. And besides, don’t you always say you’re good at taking tests?” When I nodded, she said, “I think you’ll be fine.”
I took another bite of the pizza. “How is everyone else?”
“Oh, you know, same old, same old. Just another day in paradise.” Her voice dripped sarcasm, and as a result, I grinned. “Sometimes I wonder why I decided to go here and not leave the state for somewhere else. I feel like you don’t really get the full college experience on a campus that’s in the middle of downtown.” She finished her slice and then leaned her chin on her balled-up hand, staring off into space, wistful.
I never understood the whole college experience thing. I guess so many people used college as an excuse to party, drink every weekend, experiment not only in what you put in your body, but also who you did it with. Not once did I ever want to become one of those people who celebrated Thirsty Thursdays.
Not that there was anything wrong with that. If that’s what you wanted to do, go for it. I didn’t judge. It’s just… after living with my dad for so long, after seeing how he got when he drank too much, I didn’t want to be like that. I didn’t want to slur my words or become so blinded by alcohol that the only thing left to guide me was rage.
“Emma’s trying to get us all to go out on Friday,” Beth spoke with a sigh. The expression on her face relaxed as she went in for another slice of pizza. “What do you think?” Her eyes fixated on me, and she said nothing else, waiting for my answer.
“I’m not really feeling it. You can go and have fun. You can tell me all about it later.”
Her mouth full, she shook her head. A moment later, she was busy saying, “Uh-huh. If you don’t go, I don’t go. I missed you last week, Tay. I want to hang out more. So… you’re coming. It’s settled.”
“What would we be doing?” I asked. “You know I’m not one for crowds—”
“This is America. There are people everywhere, and there always will be. You got to get used to them.” Beth grabbed her drink and took a swig. “I’m not sure where, but no matter where we go, it’ll be fun. We’ll make it fun.”
I let my eyes fall to the wooden table between us. “I don’t know if I have anything good to wear.” Another excuse—and also a lie, because Creed had bought me more clothes than I think I’d ever had before, but Beth didn’t need to know that.
“You can borrow something from me,” she told me. “I don’t mind. After classes on Friday, you can come over to my dorm.”
I could imagine the changing montage in my head right then, and I literally would rather do anything on Friday than that, but at this point, it didn’t sound like Beth was going to take no for an answer. Not today, anyway. So, I’d let her think I would go, but Friday, I’d have something random pop up, like a paper due by midnight I’d forgotten to do last week, and she’d have no choice but to go without me.
Going out and having fun, regardless of where, might be exactly what I needed, but at the same time, it just wasn’t my scene. Whether it was the local bars or a party somewhere—it wasn’t what I’d want to do on a Friday night. I’d much rather be at home, in my pajamas, getting sleepy by ten o’clock.
Well, given my current circumstances, it’d be at Creed’s place and not home, but you know what I meant.
When I continued to say nothing, Beth smiled and said, “It’s settled, then. I’ll tell Emma we’ll all go.”
I faked a smile back at her. “It’ll be fun.” There was no way in hell it would be fun, but coming up with a last-minute excuse not to go would be easier than persuading Beth right now that I couldn’t. It wasn’t like she could still drag me out Friday night, last-minute, especially if my excuse was a paper I’d forgotten to work on during my sick week.
As if I’d forget a paper. Psh.
We finished up our lunch and cleaned up, both of us parting to go to our next class. I went into one of the taller buildings on campus, heading to the third floor using the stairwell. There were elevators, quite a few of them, but I preferred using the stairs, unless I had to go to the top of the buildings for something. That hardly ever happened, though. Most of the common core classes were on the lower levels.
