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Was it really all because Alistair and Gareth would get upset? I guess if I was Alistair, and I had a friend who made out with my new stepdaughter on the night of my wedding, I might get a little pissed. But Gareth… that one shouldn’t care at all about who I kissed.
Rick didn’t let go of my hands, waiting to hear my response. I told him quietly, “Okay. I won’t tell them, I promise.”
He exhaled an explosive sigh, squeezing my hands once before letting them go. “Thank you, Brianna. I really do appreciate it.” He got off the bench, standing. “You should go back in, before anyone thinks you’re missing.”
I was sluggish in standing with him, taking off his suit jacket and handing it back to him. He was right, of course. My mom had probably noticed the moment I’d gone, and I didn’t doubt she’d have some choice words for me in private.
“What about you?” I asked, watching as he retrieved his empty flask from the bench and stuffed it in his jacket’s inner pocket.
“Ah, I’ll probably head out. I got work bright and early tomorrow, so…” Rick buttoned up his jacket, eyes on me. Shadows danced across his face, his head tilted to block out some of the fairy lights overhead. “I’ll be seeing you around. Good luck.” He said not another word, turning to walk away the way he came.
I didn’t move right away. I stood there for a while, watching him go, and then I stood there wondering what the hell that had been about. Talk about weird.
Hell, I couldn’t even be happy that I’d had my first kiss. It was all too strange for me.
But, as much as I didn’t want to rejoin the wedding reception, I had to, so I mustered up my courage and started the trek through the garden. I went in through the same doors I’d gone out of, and within another five minutes, I was walking into the reception, finding the crowd had broken apart. Some were dancing, others were sitting at their tables, talking.
My mom and Alistair were making rounds to everybody sitting, talking and laughing—my mom’s eyes found mine shortly, and she made sure to send a glare my way.
At the back of the giant hall, I spotted Gareth sitting by himself, looking bored. It wouldn’t be so far-fetched to say he’d rather be anywhere but here. In that moment, as fleeting as it was, he looked like a normal eighteen-year-old, and I hoped that, maybe, my first impression of him had been wrong, that he was just stressed out today… that maybe living with him wouldn’t be so bad.
And then it was like he could sense my presence, because his head turned and his eyes locked with mine. Even though there was an entire reception hall in between us, I knew he saw me, knew he was glaring.
What a stupid hope. Living with him was going to be hell.
Chapter Five – Brianna
Wedding night, my mom and Alistair went to a fancy hotel downtown, which left me to go back to our apartment by myself. Everything was already packed, boxes piled high. It was my last night to myself, my last night alone.
I didn’t get any sleep. I spent it sketching from memory, drawing myself staring in the mirror… only the mirrored reflection wasn’t quite me.
Well, it was, but what was underneath the surface. The musculature. The ligaments. No eyelids, no lips. Just teeth. Halfway to a skeleton. It wasn’t my usual, but with my hand busy with the pencil, my mind trying to get every detail right, it helped take my mind off other things. It helped keep me sane.
It was the only thing in this world that made me feel alive.
Then morning came, and the movers arrived. My mom didn’t show up until after noon, a pep in her step I’d never seen before. She didn’t lift a finger to help the movers; she only came for me, and then we got in her car and started to drive.
I had my sketchbook in my backpack, which I’d kept with me, not wanting the movers to touch it. They had my markers and my canvases, but not my sketchbook. I kept my head turned to the window, watching as the city blocks passed by.
Was I sad to leave the city? Sad to see the busy streets and sidewalks go? No. I wouldn’t miss any of it.
It was only after we’d left the city behind, when the scenery became more houses with yards than high rises with no grass whatsoever that my mom broke her silence—something she’d been waiting to do this whole time, I bet: “Don’t think I didn’t notice you leaving in the middle of the reception last night and coming back with your hair down. Do you have any idea how that made you look?” She threw me an annoyed glance, her brows furrowed and her lips curled into a frown.
“All the bobby pins were hurting my head,” I lied.
“Please. That excuse is bullshit, we both know it. Last night was the happiest I’ve been in a long time, and you still tried to ruin it.” Under her breath, she muttered, “What did I do to deserve such an ungrateful daughter?”
If the world wasn’t so expensive, if I had a job and a source of money, you can bet your butt I’d leave. I’d move and never look back. But, as it was, the world was expensive. Living alone with no money was impossible.
And if I did, I wouldn’t have time for art, so that was an immediate no-go.
Louder, my mom said, “When we get there, you will be nice. Alistair already picked out your room. You will thank him for anything he does for you. The last thing I want is for him to see just how ungrateful you are.” She shot me a quick, harsh glance. “If you prove yourself to him, maybe you could get him to pay for your college or introduce you to a fitting boy. You’re eighteen now, so you should be looking to the future.”
My mom didn’t view college like normal people did nowadays. No, she had an archaic view: girls go to college to snag themselves a husband. The education was secondary. Without a husband, what was a woman if not useless? It’s how she’d felt until Alistair came into her life, and it’s a lesson she’d tried to ingrain in my head for years now.
But it never stuck, mostly because I hated my mom and didn’t believe in anything she said.
I didn’t respond to her. Thankfully, she remained silent the rest of the drive.
