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“Neither do you,” Gareth shot back, frowning.
“I think he came to spy on you,” Neo huffed and turned toward me. “Let’s get out of here. I have the feeling if we stay, we’ll have a third wheel.” The venom in his tone told me having Gareth watch us the rest of the game was the last thing he wanted, and I seconded that.
I made sure to stare directly at Gareth as I said, “I think that sounds like a great idea. Let’s go.” Even though I didn’t really want to take Neo’s hand in mine, I did just that, and I pulled Neo away from Gareth’s glower before this could escalate any further.
As we left the gym, I didn’t toss a single look over my shoulder. I knew what I’d see if I did: Gareth, standing there, motionless, his hands balled up into fists like he wanted to pound Neo’s face in. A hard glare that told me he was seconds from erupting into a murder spree.
Okay, maybe that latter part was pure imagination, but given what Gareth had done so far, it wasn’t that far away from the realm of possibility.
We walked past the group of parents doing the refreshment stand, and Neo’s hand tightened around mine. “I don’t see how you can live with that freak,” he hissed out as we headed toward the doors. I could feel the tension radiating off him; that confrontation with Gareth had riled him up.
“I don’t really have a choice.” If I did, you can bet your butt I wouldn’t live with Gareth. Or Alistair. Or, hell, even my mom. If I had the choice, I’d much rather live all by myself, where I could focus on the one thing that mattered to me: my art.
We pushed out into the cool night air, the breeze greeting us the very second we walked out of the building. Eastcreek High was old; it had some problems with ventilation and air circulation. It’d been hot as hell in there. Coming out here was a stark contrast to that.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true. Man, I’d go crazy if I were you,” Neo went on.
I tossed a look around, making sure Rick was gone. Didn’t need Rick getting needlessly jealous again. Hell, I still didn’t know what gave him the right to get jealous over the fact I’d come to this game with Neo. It wasn’t like Rick and I were dating. We’d talked for a while at the wedding, shared a hot kiss, and that was it.
Hmm. I’d seen the guy a total of four times, and out of those times, half of them we’d wound up making out with each other. I didn’t want to know how things would progress when I saw him again.
Neo led us to his car, and he only let go of my hand to open the door for me. After I ducked inside, he shut it, but before he could walk around to the driver’s side and get in himself, his body turned toward the school.
Gareth stood just outside the doors, his hands in his pockets. Even though there were at least fifty or sixty feet between us, I could see every detail of his face perfectly. The glare, how it was so deep it rested in his eyes. How the corners of his lips turned down slightly, his jaw locked in place. The little vein on his forehead that seemed to pop out any time he was particularly furious.
A part of me twisted when I locked eyes with him, and as Neo swore to himself and walked around the car to get in, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The truth was, I didn’t know if it was Gareth, not anymore, but until evidence came to light that suggested someone else, he was my prime suspect.
Neo started his car, and then we were gone, leaving the glaring Gareth in the dust.
He didn’t drive me home right away. We took a slight detour and stopped at an ice cream shop’s drive-through and got some milkshakes. It was a little cold for milkshakes, but hey, I’d never turn down free ice cream in any form. I didn’t eat ice cream enough, if you asked me. That shit was good.
We parked in the back lot of the ice cream place, sitting together in the dark, drinking our milkshakes.
I got to know Neo a bit more. What he was going to college for, what he wanted to do with his life. He was good at football; he’d gotten some scholarships, but he didn’t want to progress past college football. If you went pro, things got a lot harder all around.
He asked about me, and I told him I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Prior to my mom marrying Alistair, I hadn’t given much thought to it. I figured I’d go to whichever school would take me and that I’d have to major in something I didn’t give a shit about just to make my mom happy.
So much of my life had been spent trying to make that woman happy. I didn’t realize it until now.
“Why do you want to do something that makes you miserable?” Neo asked. He’d basically chugged his milkshake; the entire thing was gone already. I still had half to go.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. What can you do with an art degree these days? Maybe in the past, things would’ve been different—” No, they wouldn’t have, not where my mom was concerned. She wouldn’t have approved of any type of art major. You couldn’t get a real job with that… said the woman who ran an art gallery. Ironic. “It’s just hard some days, thinking about the future. Sometimes it feels like I’m not going to have one.”
Whoa. This conversation had started to broach a serious topic here. I should try to find a way to steer us back on course, veer away from this cynical turn. That’s what it was: cynical, nihilistic. Some days it felt like the world was going to end, so why should I bother trying?
“Sure you are,” Neo told me, his eyes on me. “What are you so afraid of?”
That question was not one with an easy answer. What was I afraid of? I could whip up at least a dozen answers to that, but none would adequately describe how I felt. How could you explain to a normal person that sometimes it felt like you were losing your mind? That, sometimes, when you weren’t paying attention, your sanity dripped away, never to be seen or heard from again?
I mean, how else could I explain the things that I’d done lately? How else could I explain how much I caught myself thinking of Gareth and the things he’d done? And that said nothing of the things Alistair had coaxed out of me in the bathroom that day.
And then there was Rick…
I settled with saying, “My mom’s always been on my back about everything. She’s never really understood me. For so long, it’s been just us, so maybe I’ve internalized all the crap she’s said to me over the years.” I lifted my milkshake, taking the straw in my mouth and chewing on it a bit.
Neo tried to comfort me, telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, but I’d had enough. I told him I was tired and ready to go home, so we threw out our milkshakes and left. Getting deep with Neo wasn’t something I wanted to do; this date wasn’t a real date. I only wanted to use him to make Gareth upset, bait him to make a move and prove to me that he was the monster I knew he could be.
Neo was cute, sure, but I didn’t really like him. I sure as hell didn’t want to bond with him. Literally, this night’s only purpose had been to rile up Gareth. Who knew it’d also serve to upset me, too? I’d upset myself, made Gareth pissed, and gotten Rick jealous. Three whammies in one go. Maybe I was better at this than I’d thought.
