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“Did you lose someone?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Someone sick?”
I nodded.
We were both quiet for a long time. I had been raised Catholic but wasn’t practicing now. The last time I’d been to church, other than a wedding, was for my mother’s funeral. I was pretty sure that had been Gram’s last time, too. The small chapel here in the hospital was peaceful, but as I sat next to the priest, I found myself growing more and more annoyed. I shifted in my seat to face him.
“How do you reconcile God’s work and young people dying?”
“I don’t. Faith can’t explain or justify everything. But it can provide comfort, if you let it.”
“How?”
“Well, your faith provides assurance that your loved ones will be okay. Happy even, after they’re gone.”
“How can they be happy if they won’t be with the people they care about?”
He smiled. “We’ll all be reunited someday. If you can accept that, truly rely on your faith, it can help you heal after the loss of a loved one.”
“I’ve always felt that people who rely too heavily on a belief in the afterlife do it because they aren’t very good at coping with their real one.”
Rather than be insulted, the priest’s smile widened. “And I’ve always suspected that many who don’t believe in the afterlife are afraid to because they’re worried they might go the other way.” He pointed two thumbs down.
I chuckled. “You have a good point.”
“Tell me about your loved one who’s in the hospital.”
I stared up at the altar. “She’s beautiful and pigheaded. Smart. Creative. A bit of a daredevil. She doesn’t judge people and makes friends with some pretty out-there types. She’s a good person, very protective of the people she cares about.”
“She sounds wonderful.”
I sighed and raked a hand through my hair. “She is. And I stupidly didn’t realize how great she was until it was too late.”
“She’s still with us, though?”
I nodded.
“Then it’s not too late. Perhaps you’re here now to provide comfort in her time of need. It can be scary for people to walk alone in their final days. Perhaps you can help her during this time, which will in turn bring you comfort someday when you reflect back.”
“I’m not sure how I can do that.”
“Focus on her needs. Whether that’s holding a hand when she’s scared, or going to see her favorite movie that you really don’t like. Try not to burden her with your fears. And most of all, make sure she knows how you feel about her.”
I swallowed. Those were all the things Nora had been doing for my grandmother—focusing on her needs, showing her she wasn’t scared. Jesus Christ, and all I did was give her a hard time for doing it. I’d totally screwed up. I’d let my own selfishness stand in the way of supporting my grandmother’s decisions. I hadn’t put her first, like Nora did.
My eyes welled up. Father Kelly put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s never too late to be the man you need to be.”
***
“It’s almost midnight,” I said to my grandmother. We’d sat in chairs on opposite sides of Nora’s bed ever since I came back from the chapel this afternoon. “Why don’t you get some sleep?”
She sat up like she was preparing to argue, so I nipped that in the bud.
“It’s her turn to need you. And you won’t be any use to her if you’re in the bed next to hers because you’re run down and not taking care of yourself.”
Gram frowned but nodded.
