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“It’s okay, Daddy. I’m sorry too.” I said, quietly enough that only my father could hear me, and I glanced over at Roarke, who was standing stiffly in the doorway of his office.
“What would you ever be sorry for?”
“He wasn’t lying, Daddy,” I whispered, and my father’s face immediately turned to Roarke.
“Richard,” Roarke started, and my father scoffed, looking away from him, and just walked back toward his office. I had no way of knowing how angry he was or what he was going to do. I could get fired, for all I knew, but at this point, I didn’t care. I was putting my feelings over my work for the first time in my life.
I needed to talk to Roarke. I walked toward his office and he just stood there, frozen, his chest heaving.
I passed by him, keeping eye contact with him for a couple of seconds, then walked out the back toward the bridge, hoping that Roarke would follow me.
He did, about fifteen minutes after I made it to the open air, taking in deep breaths. I expected him to stop but he kept walking toward the parking lot. I followed him to his car and bit my lip, looking up at him.
“Well?” he said. ”Are we going back to my place or yours? A hotel? How do you want to do this?”
I blinked. Roarke had gotten his wires crossed somewhere. “What are you talking about?”
“That’s what you want, right? Sex? Release? We’re stressed out and we fuck and we feel better. That’s how this goes.”
I swallowed hard. “Is it?”
Is that all it was? Is that all Roarke thought of our relationship?
“You don’t want me. You want the orgasms I can give you, right?”
“Roarke, that’s not—”
“Get in the car,” he demanded, sliding into the driver’s seat, and I followed. Part of me was heartbroken but the rest of me thought if this was all I got…
“The cat’s out of the bag,” I said.
“Yeah, because you let it out,” Roarke said in a rush of breath. “You told your father everything.”
“Not everything,” I mumbled, but Roarke didn’t seem to hear me, speeding toward his place. When we arrived, he didn’t speak in the elevator.
When the door shut behind us, he kissed my throat, my neck, but not my lips. It was like he was avoiding them.
“Roarke,” I moaned when he put his hand on my lower back and pushed me closer to him.
Roarke grunted in response and picked me up and planted my back against the far wall of his apartment. My legs wrapped around him almost automatically. I loved the way he touched me. I wanted more, but I wanted more from him emotionally, too.
“Roarke, do you even like me?” I asked softly, and Roarke lifted his head, something intense in his green eyes.
“Do you really want to talk right now?” he grumbled, and I shut my mouth and shook my head. All I wanted was for him to make love to me. But I didn’t think this time would be about making love. It would be about sex, stress relief, and if I could get that from Roarke, maybe I could get more. Eventually.
It sounded pathetic even in my own head but I wanted him physically, too, and part of our dynamic was fighting and then fucking, so maybe that was how I had to do this.
I finally took his face in my hands and forced him up to kiss his mouth, delving my tongue inside, and Roarke moaned into my mouth, hard against me.
“Do you think we can do this standing up?” I asked breathlessly when he pulled away, and Roarke smirked at me. It was a ghost of his old smile and it made my heart ache.
“We’ll make it work,” he said, and shifted to move up my skirt, shoving my panties aside and dipping his fingers into me to test my wetness. When he slid them further into me, I gasped, pleasure humming through my body.
“You’re always ready for me, aren’t you?” he whispered, and I bit my lip, nodding eagerly. I was. I always wanted Roarke, and I’d never known that sex could be this good.
“I want you,” I said hoarsely, and Roarke didn’t waste any time pushing down his pants and pressing inside me, rocking me up the wall as he held on to my hips. I cried out and bit down on my lip too hard, tasting blood.
“You feel so good,” Roarke grunted, fucking me harder, and I clawed into his shoulders. This was going to be too quick. I was already close and I didn’t want it to be over. I wanted him inside of me for longer.
