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Resigned amusement crossed Elaine’s features. “It’s harder for men sometimes. Lord knows I had to fight Robert on certain things, teach him what I was capable of. I told him I didn’t need him to treat me like a bouquet of flowers, but he could bring them to me anytime.”
Les smiled tremulously. “He did. Wildflowers from alongside the road.”
“Yes. The first time he did it, he told me they were his way of telling me he understood how strong I was, able to thrive wherever I landed. He also said it was his reminder to me, to let him treat me like a flower, delicate and beautiful, whenever I could give him that honor.”
Elaine’s eyes got a little misty, but when they focused back on Les, they showed her a truth as certain as what she’d said to her daughter about Brick being blessed to have Les in his life. “The answer to your question is yes. Your father knew you were as capable and full of potential as your brothers. He would have done everything to support your decision to be a doctor. Or whatever you decided to be.”
Her chin firmed. “I can’t tell you if you should be a doctor or not, Les. But I can tell you a doctor should have a heart like yours. So if you decide not to be one, don’t let it be because of the words of a heartbroken mother. Let it be because of what your own heart tells you.”
The words bounced off the pain, the doubts, the grief. But they added a touch of hope, a glimmer of light, she couldn’t deny. Maybe it really wasn’t about a different path. Maybe it was as simple as what her mother had just implied. It was about choosing a different approach to it. That was the opportunity that learning and experiencing life brought. Even if the learning and experiencing was so painful the answer was initially lost in seemingly unbearable pain.
Changing her approach might be simple, but it wouldn’t be easy. The way she’d gone about studying, succeeding, she’d built herself a fortress. To dismantle it, open herself to a different way, different forces…deeper vulnerabilities…
But that was what she’d done with Brick, wasn’t it? And she’d discovered a place inside her from which she thought anything might be possible.
Except bringing a child back from the dead.
Les swallowed. "Mom… Will you pray with me?"
Elaine’s gaze filled with undeniable love. She clasped both of Les’s hands. "I will always pray with you, and for you. If you’d like, while you’re here, we can go to church and light a candle for that baby, and his grieving family."
Les put her arms around her mother and hugged her tight.
“Oh, dear girl.” Elaine hugged her back, and offered the words that were standard motherly gold. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to figure it out, and it will be all right.”
Brick had told her the same. Both of them believed in her. Now she just had to remember to believe in herself.
As they moved to rejoin the others, Brick caught up and offered an arm to both women. Les hid an amused chuckle as her mother gripped Brick’s biceps and shot Les a bouncing eyebrow look at the size of the muscles under her hand. If Brick noticed, he admirably pretended not to do so.
When they reached the rotunda, she discovered a surplus of emotion she needed to expend toward one family member in particular. Since it was difficult to do a full body hug when someone was seated, she slid onto Rory’s lap, giving him a fierce embrace.
It almost brought her to tears again when he responded with a “Hey, what’s all this about, baby sis,” and put his arms around her, holding her even more than she was holding him. His arms were strong and supportive, his chest solid and firm, the brush of his beard soft.
Okay, yeah. She grudgingly accepted it. Her other brother was hot, too.
“You okay?” he murmured.
“Yeah. I am. Thanks to all of you.” She pushed herself back to her feet. As he helped her do it, he retained her hand. Though she expected he knew what her hug was about, he brought them back to familiar footing with a gentle tease. “Is Brick upsetting you? I’ll kick his ass if you need me to. He’s scared of me, you know.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” When she slanted a glance up at Brick, he offered a solemn nod.
“I hide my fear deep inside where no one can see it.”
“Darn right he does.” Rory grinned.
The family gathered in the rotunda, each couple taking one of the half-dozen benches arranged in the circle. They accommodated two adults comfortably, but Elaine shooed Thomas away, making him sit with Marcus. While they exchanged memories of a missed father and husband, she smoothed her hand over the empty spot next to her and mostly listened.
They were all keeping a close eye on her. As hard as this loss was for each of them, Elaine’s was deeper, affecting every aspect of the life she led without her husband by her side. Les expected that Rory and Thomas, now having their own spouses, better understood how unimaginably difficult that loss could be.
Brick held Les’s hand on his thigh. They weren’t at that point, but maybe because of the intensity that came with the newness of their relationship, she could still appreciate the depths of that loss.
Eventually the subject went into easier emotional terrain, conversations about day-to-day things, the occasional smatter of their usual banter. Les even talked about medical school, normal things she would share. After her conversation with her mother, and in this serene place, she had some space to think about her studies, Beulah, and her interactions with interesting patients and hospital staff, separate from more volatile recent events.
But the thoughts still stirred uneasiness. Up until now, Llanzo and her own uncertain career future had held the top pennant in her mental loop playlist. She guessed she really was a perennial worrier, but sitting with her two brothers, seeing the people to whom they’d bound their lives, brought something else to mind.
She was a third-year medical student living two hours away from a busy arson investigator. If she went back to med school, she had over a year left to finish that, followed by residency. She still had no doubt she wanted to do that here, with Dr. Spring, but that would put her four and a half hours away from Brick. Then, when she got her license…
Fairhope had a volunteer fire department and no need for a full-time arson investigator.
