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She suppressed a sigh. The reassurance Rory had given her at the cemetery had helped, but now it would be tested by reality. She was returning to school, to a grueling study and rotation schedule. Brick would head back to his equally busy job, that stack of cases.
The distance was more unsettling to her now that she knew he might be in active fires to provide firefighters direction on arson investigation. Or maybe he’d face another Colin, lying in wait for him at an investigation site. Or question a witness who wasn’t a witness at all, but a suspect who freaked out and…
He'd told Rory the Colin event was a lightning strike kind of thing, but she wasn’t buying it. There was a reason Rufus had called them fire “cops,” no matter how teasingly, and a reason that Brick had a weapon. Even cops would point out that yes, a great deal of their job was tedium and routine…until it wasn’t.
For so long, her feelings for him had been nebulous, based in fantasy. She had to be a grown-up, not act like she would fall apart if she couldn’t be with him every moment, like the besotted teenager she’d been.
Even if that was exactly how she felt.
She was a besotted woman, a submissive who craved her Master’s touch, his presence, not once every few weeks, but every day. Every moment.
So how would that go over, becoming the clingy girlfriend who wanted him to come see her every weekend? She knew how rarely she’d be able to make that drive and stay on top of her studies.
No matter her wailing and protesting female heart, the relationship needed the freedom to grow. Like wine. It needed to breathe, and be consumed in the appropriate manner and time.
“Um…when you go back, when I go back, I know things are going to get crazy again. I don’t want you to feel like you owe me…all the things two people in a committed relationship would. I mean, we’re not engaged or anything. I came to you during a bad time, and you were great. But—”
He pulled the truck over onto the side of the highway, cut the engine and turned to look at her. The abrupt act and his expression stopped the words like a hose bent in the middle. He lifted a brow.
“You done?”
Her hackles rose. “Done with what?”
“Worrying. I swear to God, you could squeeze an ounce of worry out of a granite rock.”
“I’m just trying to—”
He lifted a finger. When he spoke, his voice was calm. Too calm. “So what are you trying to tell me? While I’m waiting for you to finish school, we go back to the way it was? I keep doing sessions with women like Tish?”
“No,” she said, stung. “I mean, well if I can’t be available as much as you…I know people like Lisa and Tish need your…skills.”
He cocked a brow at her.
“No.” She crossed her arms over her chest, which was getting tight. “I don’t want that. I’m trying to say…”
“You’re trying to manage us like your class schedules or exam studies, because you have to manage things to the nth degree. Maybe that works for that, but not for us.”
He held her glare with an implacable look of his own. “We haven’t had a lot of time together, Les. Not nearly enough for you to understand how our relationship will work. Only time can do that, and you have to be willing to let time tick without you trying to control it. You said you want to be my submissive. Is that still true? Yes or no.”
She stared at him. “So how exactly does this relationship work?”
A muscle flexed in his jaw. “I asked you a question. Do you want me, Les?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to be your Sir? Your Dom. Your Master.”
She’d said it during their sessions, but never like this, when her head was clouded with more anger and frustration than arousal. Slightly more. Maybe as much arousal as frustration. But the answer was the same. “Yes.”
“Do you know how that will work with the two of us juggling our lives like a circus act?”
“No. Damn it.”
“No.” His lips curved, though his eyes remained piercing. “So this is how we’re going to do it. You’re going to be honest with me, about whatever you need from this relationship, and I’m going to be honest right back. And then you’re going to let me worry about how to solve the roadblocks.”
She wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly at first, but he confirmed it. “I’m in charge, Les. That’s what’s involved in being a Dom. Giving you what you need, caring for you. Hearing what you have to say, responding to that. I’ll ask for your input, encourage it, but the only thing that rests in your hands is whether you want me or not. Long as the answer is yes, I’ll take care of the rest. When there are things you need to do to help with that, you’ll get that direction from me. You have plenty in your life to take care of right now. That won’t be one of them.”
“So you’re saying…”
