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The current month featured a shirtless, redheaded male. He wore brown and yellow fireman trousers, red suspenders dangling around his hips. His vivid blue eyes stared out at the viewer, his muscles strategically smudged with soot. He held a similarly dusted white puppy against his brawny chest.
“Is that one of those firefighter beefcake calendars?”
“It’s firefighters with puppies,” he said loftily.
“Are you in it?”
He tossed the picture a disgruntled look. “Arson investigators aren’t eligible. Firefighters only. The competition is stiff.”
“So I can see.” She tucked her tongue into her cheek as he gave her a narrow look. “And you have this on your refrigerator, because…”
“It was a charity thing. I need a calendar. Come sit your smartass down and eat.” He pointed to the chair next to the one at the head of the table. “I’ll bring you a plate.”
“Do you need any help?” An automatic courtesy, since the food was ready to serve.
When he shook his head, she slid into the chair. A couple stacks of books had been pushed to the side to make room for the two place settings he’d laid for them. One of the stacks was work-related, more code books and technical manuals related to forensic sciences, focusing on crime scene assessment. The other tower was a mix of fiction and poetry. A well-thumbed romance was on the top.
“One of your favorites?” she asked.
“Tish’s,” he said. She tried not to show her sudden tension, but the flicker in his gaze said she wasn’t successful. “When she admitted she’s a big erotic romance reader, I told her to give me a favorite. It gives me more cues about her needs as a submissive, as well as what she might imagine doing.”
“Like a manual? You read this and know what fantasies she wants to become a reality?”
“If it was that simple to understand what a woman wants, men everywhere would rejoice. But our fantasies are just window dressing for the deeper things we want in actual relationships.” He gestured with a spatula. “If a submissive likes to read capture fantasies, it might just mean she wants to feel safe enough to give up control in a scene. Even that desire has a range, from exploring light restraints and psychological acts of surrender, to going all out, with chase scenes and primal play.”
At her quizzical look, he explained. “Primal play is basically fighting, wrestling, with sexual intent involved. It can involve hunting and chasing, depending on the people doing it.”” He quirked a brow. “Last night, you mentioned you didn’t mind a good wrestling match.”
“I don’t think that’s exactly what I said.” She was out of her depth. “I’m getting all these strong vibes from you, while we’re talking about a woman you were with just last night. There’s a part of me saying I need to get in my car and go. That it’s the wrong time to even try to do this.”
“Or the right one.”
He put a plate in front of her. It had scrambled eggs, bacon and three silver dollar pancakes. Dots of whipped cream and chocolate chips on the middle one formed a smiley face. Heart-shaped dark chocolates were in the centers of the two flanking pancakes. The warmth of the food had given the chocolate a soft and melty look.
Tears threatened again. “Hey.” Brick’s voice was warm and sure as he brought her attention to him. “I have a suggestion, Les. I’m offering it as a suggestion because, while we’ve played around the edges, you haven’t consented to being my submissive.”
“I haven’t?”
“You know you haven’t.” He met her gaze. “Though you’ve given me two damn promising signs in that direction.”
“What were those?”
“Kneeling to me in my living room, and not going after my testicles when I spanked you.”
“As if I could. You were holding me pinned. You only won that match because you took me by surprise.” Not because he outweighed her by a hundred pounds of muscle weight and a foot of height.
“Your official consent to be a Dom’s submissive,” he continued, with a reproving look, “is a choice you make for the right reasons. When you give me that honor, I’ll recognize and know you were ready to do it. Because you’re brilliant, I know you will, too. So until then, here’s what I’m suggesting you do.”
He slid his fingers along her cheek, her ears, her throat. She became so still under his touch. All her unhappy, darker thoughts disappeared into that abyss she could avoid, if she kept herself from the edge.
His suggestion dragged her right over it.
“After breakfast, call the hospital’s attorney, so he knows you aren’t avoiding him. Call your advisor for the same reason, and make sure your absence isn’t threatening anything you’ve worked your ass off to get.”
He stroked her accelerated wrist pulse. “After that’s squared away, for today, let it the fuck go. Not because that child didn’t matter, but because of how much he or she did.”
“He.” The word came out of a clogged throat.
“He, then. If you do that, you’re not shirking your responsibility. You’re preparing yourself to handle it the way you should. I know what it is to lose someone like that, Les.”
