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“Are you sure? This is a lot. Maybe take a day or so to think about it. Once I introduce you to Max as his dad, there’s no going back from that. You can’t decide it’s too much and back out.”
“Why would I back out? I’m not an idiot, Kia. I know what it means to have a kid. I’m not just going to throw money at him and be done.” His spine stiffened. “Or is that what you were hoping was going to happen?” He knew he was being an asshole, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.
“What? Of course not.” Her hazel eyes narrowed as she glared at him. “I’m not telling you because I see you as some kind of cash cow, Jeff. I’m telling you about Max because it’s the right thing to do.” She clicked her tongue. “I tried to tell you when I was pregnant and couldn’t find you. Now that you’ve resurfaced in my life, I’m telling you because you deserve to know.” She squared her shoulders. “But nothing is more important to me than Max. It’s my job to protect him and keep him safe and that includes from you if need be.”
“Why would you need to protect him from me?”
“Hopefully, I don’t, but that’s what I need to find out. I don’t know you, Jeff. So before I explain this to Max, you need to take some time and figure out what you want. Then we can talk and discuss introducing you to him. I need time to prepare Max. He’s the only one that matters in all this.”
“Of course.” What did he want? To meet his son. But what did that mean, exactly? Who the hell knew? There were probably a million things he should say, but his brain felt like it was using two brain cells at the moment, instead of the billions it had at its disposal. Not exactly helpful. Kia was right. It was probably smart to table this discussion till his brain was back online.
Kia chewed on her bottom lip. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but can you just behave like normal when you see Max at T-Ball?”
His stomach twisted. How the hell was he supposed to be normal, to pretend nothing had changed?
“Please,” Kia pleaded. “That’s not the time or place for him to find out who you really are.”
As much as it pained him to admit, she was right. “No problem.” He stared at her. “When can we meet again to talk about our next steps?”
Her tongue darted out and she licked her bottom lip. “Do you want to meet early next week?”
There was no way he was waiting that long to talk to her about this. “No. What’s your schedule like tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” She shifted on the bleacher. “I work in the afternoon, so I guess we could meet in the morning.”
“Sounds good. Where?”
“Um… Do you know where Bean Scene is on Market?”
“I’ll find it. Say 10:30?”
Kia nodded. She stood up and clasped her hands in front of her. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
After she left, he couldn’t make himself stand up. His mind raced. He had a kid. He rubbed his sternum to ease the tightness in his chest. It didn’t help. Why was it so hard to swallow? It felt like his throat was glued shut.
He steepled his hands in front of his face and tried to breathe. How was he supposed to be a dad when all he wanted to do at this moment was call his own? His fingers itched to pick up the phone, but he wasn’t ready for that conversation yet. He could just imagine what his dad would say.You got yourself in this situation, now man up and do the job.
But first, he needed to figure out the right way to do that.
Jeff looked around the half empty bar as he waited for his friends to meet him. Ever since Kia had told him about Max, he’d thought of nothing else. He needed to hash it out with his friends because, at the moment, he was pissed. He knew Kia had tried to reach him and it wasn’t her fault that he was just finding out about Max now, but he was angry. He’d missed five years of his kid’s life already. And he couldn’t get that back.
He’d grown up with great parents that were still happily married. In theory, he knew how to be a dad. But in reality, the idea scared the shit out of him. How was he supposed to connect with his son and have a relationship when he didn’t know anything about him?
Pete and Ryan strode into the bar together and slid onto two of the vacant seats at the four top.
“Thanks for coming,” Jeff said.
“No problem. You okay? You look like you just ate some of Gonzo’s cooking.” Pete’s face scrunched up in sympathy as he stared at him.
“I’m all good.” But was he? Not really. He was a mess. His mind was running in a million directions. His first instinct was to figure out where Kia lived and go see his son. The second was to get in his car and head across the border to Mexico.
“What’s up? Your text made it seem important,” Ryan asked.
“Yeah, it is, but let’s wait till Gonz is here, so I don’t have to explain everything twice.”
“Sure, no problem.” Ryan looked around, then flagged the server over. “Can we get a pitcher of pale ale please and four…” He eyed Jeff’s glass. “Three more glasses.”
