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His surprised laughter fed my bitter fury as I stomped away.
Reliving the memory, I could still taste it.
“Remember I mentioned the asshole I met on the business trip? Turns out he’s contracted to the company for the next six shoots and I’m going to have to work with him.”
“What asshole?” Lucky walked in, rubbing his knuckles over my head.
I waved his concern away and smoothed my hair back into place. “Not worth talking about.” I took a breath and held it. “However, I’m on the cusp of a huge promotion and there’s the opportunity for more travel.”
“Cool,” Lucky smiled. “Let us know how we can help. You know I’m always flexible where Brayleigh is concerned.”
Let us know.
I’m always flexible where Brayleigh is concerned.
His words tumbled around in my brain as I drove home.
Before, as in before Minty, Lucky would have said, ‘We’ll figure it out’, or ‘How are we going to do this?’
These slight shifts and miniscule changes marked the massive realignment of my life.
At home, I threw a frozen dinner in the microwave while I quickly changed out of my suit. Padding back into the kitchen, I grabbed a ginger ale from the fridge and set it on the coffee table with my laptop before settling in with my less than stellar choice of cuisine.
The clicking of my keyboard and the sound of the notifications coming through my apps rang loud in my empty condo. Opening Spotify, I switched from Brayleigh’s playlist to mine. and spent the next hour chatting online, flicking back and forth between Ava and Kyle.
Sometimes, I could hear Ava’s voice through her texts, and it was almost like she was here, but for Kyle I had no reference.
H: How old are you, Kyle?
K: I’m younger than you, but I assure you I’m a big boy. Live on my own. I have a good job and I even own a dog. Very responsible. (wink)
H: Hm.
K: Give me a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised.
I thought about Hope and Lucky, the age difference between them, how Minty had fretted over it.
It was no longer a factor. In Lucky’s eyes, it never was. Perhaps I should take a chance.
I couldn’t sit here alone night after night.
And the only other thing in my in-box were dick pics. Most of them huge. I snickered to myself, wondering if there was a site for men to download dicks to pass off as their own.
With Ava online, we finalized plans to meet up for coffee. Kyle reassured me that his friend was a good guy. Ava threatened to put Gorilla glue into my underwear if it went poorly.
I laughed as I closed my laptop. But by the time I cleared away my dishes and turned out the lights, the hollowness in my gut returned. What I really wanted to do, was talk things out with Lucky.
Since he found Minty, my dependence on him became apparent. They needed space to solidify their new relationship, and I wanted to give it to them. I wanted her for him. Desperately.
And I couldn’t help but feel that I was in the way.
A Blank Slate
Hope
Evenings without Brayleigh dragged endlessly.
Every week I promised myself I’d find things to do instead of sitting at home, and every week I postponed my planning until the following week. I didn’t like to do things on my own but going out and meeting people was worse than sitting home.
