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“I never knew I had it in me.”
Just seeing her standing in my den of sin makes me proud somehow. I never expected to feel anything, but I’m fast realizing the value of her. It’s one thing dominating a submissive, even better when it fills them with horror, but Abigail is a challenge I wasn’t expecting because whatever I do, I’m convinced it won’t be enough where she’s concerned.
It intrigues me, so I nod to the door and say in a warmer voice, “We will revisit this place later. Come, we should eat first.”
The disappointment on her face causes an ache in my heart that is alien to me. I don’t like seeing her upset. I like to see her smile. The fact I even care what she’s feeling is surprising me – a lot. More than anything, I want to test her limits, but I need to understand what has driven her to this point first. She is hiding something deep inside and until I learn what that is, the games will be put on hold. I need to know her mind before her body so I can make this good for her. One step out of line and I could destroy her forever, so as painful as it is, sex with Abigail will have to be put on hold.
CHAPTER16
ABIGAIL
Iam so disappointed. That room was fresh out of my nightmares and something I crave more than my dreams right now. I was so close to losing my mind back there and that’s the attraction. I want to lose who I am because I don’t like her very much.
Abigail Kensington is weak, controlled, and subservient. She does everything her parents tell her and they would never tell her to do this.
That’s the attraction. My rebellion, of sorts. I will be doing something that would cause my mom a panic attack and I’d love every minute of it. Sex makes me a different person entirely. A wanton woman with no code to follow, no rules, and a chance to fling decency from the window. The antithesis of who I am most of the time and this room is the extreme of that.
I want to know what it’s like to be chained naked to a cold stone wall and tortured sexually. I want it to hurt and experience the pain with the pleasure. It will drive out those demons that live inside me so they can’t hurt me anymore. I will always have my depravations to cling to when faced with my upstanding life.
Now I know why Jefferson did it. It makes me understand him a little more. Would it be the same with him? Of course not. We are too alike.
It must be Matteo Ortega because he has danger tattooed on his soul. I need a black heart to rub off on mine and make me stronger.
I follow him from the room, wishing like hell we didn’t need to eat. Why do I want this so much? I can’t explain that to myself and I’m surprised when he leads me to a small dining room that overlooks the skyline and says softly, “Please, take a seat. I’ve had dinner prepared; my chef will deliver it personally.”
I sit opposite him, and he pours us both a glass of wine and as I sip the deep spicy liquid, it warms my blood.
We say nothing and sip our wine as soft, melodic music spills from hidden speakers. It’s classical, which surprises me. I never had this man down as an educated one and yet it’s the perfect accompaniment to my mood.
It calms me yet adds drama to an occasion that doesn’t really need it.
The door opens and the chef wheels in a trolley and we sit in silence as he places domed dishes on the table before us. He sets some plates down and half bows before leaving and I raise my eyes as soon as the door closes.
“Who do you think you are, Matteo? A king perhaps?”
He chuckles softly. “Of sorts.”
“Then you’re deluded.”
I shake my head as he lifts off the domes one by one and I see a feast before me fit for the king he thinks he is.
There are so many decadent dishes my mouth waters and as we help ourselves and load the food onto our plates, I relax for the first time since I met him.
This is almost normal, and I like it.
“Tell me about your life, princess.”
He regards me through those decadent eyes, and I feel a flutter inside that only he can create.
“Pampered, spoiled, controlled, take your pick. Everything you believe I am is probably right.”
I raise my glass of wine to him in a salute and sigh.
“To everyone outside looking in, I have it all. The only child of a billionaire given everything money can buy. The trouble is, I can’t move without my parents’ blessing. My days are controlled with classes, sports and practicing accomplishments. At night I am wheeled out to functions and listen while my life is mapped out before me.”
“So, you had no choice regarding your impending engagement?”
“None at all. I was told over Sunday lunch that I would be getting engaged to Jefferson Stevenson. He would make a fine husband and I should count myself lucky. One day he will be a respected Judge like his father, and I’ll be expected to be the best wife possible to back him up.”
