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I sniff and it’s as if my whole body gives up as I’m done fighting. I’m done with playing games and I’m done with emotion. I’m done with my occupation, and I’m done living on the edge.
“I want to tender my resignation. I no longer accept your contract.”
“That’s not how it works.” If I’m not mistaken, his voice is gentle and almost amused, and it makes me smile through my tears.
“You’re an asshole.”
“So you keep telling me.”
He rubs my shoulder as I say with a heavy sigh.
“There were never any bugs or microphones, were there?”
“No.”
At least he’s honest.
“So, why pretend?”
“Because I wanted you naked, and it was the best excuse for that.”
“Why didn’t you just say so?”
“Because I…” He stops and hesitates, and I turn to look at him and see the frown has returned and I say gently, “Why, Leo?”
“I can’t explain.”
“Try.”
He leans back on the bed and pulls me with him, my head resting on his chest as he entwines his fingers with mine.
“I can’t explain my feelings toward you because I’ve never experienced them before.”
I say nothing as he draws in a loud breath and exhales slowly.
“I don’t try with women, Chastity. I don’t take them to bed, and I don’t expect them to have an opinion. I fuck whores because they know it’s a contract of sorts and nothing else.”
“Like me.” I’m hurt by that and make to pull away and he growls, “You’re no whore and I never thought you were.”
“But you hired me. Not for this, admittedly, but youarepaying me.”
“I am.”
“What do you want from me, Leo, because I’m no man’s casual fuck unless I want to be?”
“And you don’t want to be mine?” He appears hurt by that and I say sadly, “No.”
I pull away and sit up, dragging my knees to my chest and say in a small voice, “I think too much of you for that. If we go any further, I’m going to get hurt and so, for my own self-preservation, this ends now.”
“If that’s what you want.”
His voice is now cold and dismissive, and I sense he’s pulling away from me too and it’s probably for the best, anyway. This situation is a shit storm waiting to rain and for a woman who hates the rain, I’m sheltering my heart from it.
“So, we are agreed.”
“We are.”
It must be a strange scene to anyone watching as we sit naked side by side, wet through, worlds away from one another. There is a distinct wall building fast between us, and I know it’s the best thing possible.
