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She presses her lips to mine and says teasingly, “I knew you’d fall in love with me.”
Fixing my expression to bastard, I growl, “Love isn’t a word I’m familiar with and it’s certainly not needed now. I lovefuckingyou. Is that good enough?”
“It’s a start, I suppose.”
I laugh softly. “So, you’re in love with me?”
“In your dreams, asshole.” She smirks right back at me and shrugs. “You’re a good fuck. I’ll give you that.”
“Right back at you, baby.”
As I shift, I pull out and love the disappointment in her eyes as she sighs. “To business then.”
“Of course. It’s always business.”
As she drops to her feet and stands naked against me, a surge of longing shoots through my entire body and soul as our beautiful moment bobs away on a passing wave.
I reach for her hand and thread my fingers through hers and say with a sigh.
“Come. We should dress, get naked, possibly fuck one more time for luck, shower again, and then dress for business.”
She pushes me hard, so I stumble, and she rolls her eyes. “Fuck, again! You should be so lucky.”
She breaks away and dives into the surf, emerging a few feet ahead of me and shouts, “You’d have to catch me first.”
I watch as she races up the beach and I swear I’ve never seen a more glorious sight in my life, and I only hope no other fucker is admiring the same view. I waste no time in following her and as we pull on our clothes, I stare at the beauty who has worked her way into my black heart, and she doesn’t even know it yet.
We make it back to my room and for a second, it’s a little awkward after what just happened. She clutches her hands as if she doesn’t know what to do next, and I find it strangely endearing. When I was told how strong she was, how incredibly brave, it made me realize something important. She has an inner strength that could rival any man and would be the perfect woman to share my life with. I need someone strong, unafraid, and able to stand up to the challenges we face and yet she has a softness that calls to the dominant in me. The protector and the man who wants to nurture and protect. Someone to love even, although I’m still working out what that means and so, I say softly, “Come here, baby.”
She looks surprised and I don’t wait for her reaction but cross the room and taking her into my arms, I whisper against her tempting lips, “For the record, that was only the beginning. I meant what I said back there. You’re mine now and I don’t say it lightly.”
“I don’t understand.” There’s doubt in her beautiful eyes that I want to change, and I say gently, “You’re not on your own anymore. If you agree to stay for as long as we have left, I promise to treat you well and give you no reason to leave.”
Her eyes soften and a little sadness enters them that I can’t figure out, and she nods, a tremulous smile my only guide to what she’s thinking. “I’d like that, but I’m not sure how long I’ll stay.”
Her words definitely aren’t the ones I wanted to hear, and I angle her face to mine and whisper, “What does that mean?”
She shrugs. “It means that I want more than that. I always have. I don’t want to be a possession. Someone to decorate a man’s arm and occupy his bed. I want to be loved, adored even and I want a family. Three kids all fighting with one another and causing me grief. I want that life, Leo, because it’s one I never had. The nightmare for some, but it’s my dream.”
She reaches up and touches my lips with her finger and smiles. “Until then, I’ll make do with you. I’ll be your companion on the understanding you will never give me your heart. When that becomes a deal breaker, I want you to promise I can leave and search for my own happily ever after without looking over my shoulder. You can move onto the next willing fuck and I’ll, well, I’ll find someone who can give me what I’m searching for.”
She pulls away and heads to the shower without looking back and I hate how I’m hurting right now. Every word she spoke clawed at my heart because she wasn’t wrong. She knows how this world works. No emotion, no fear. She is right to want more than that, hell she fucking deserves it, but I’m not sure I’m the man to give it to her.
I’m the cold-hearted killer who always puts business first, and it goes against every bone in my body to admit I’m experiencing more than just lust for this woman. Diana never hurt me, she merely wounded my pride, but Chastity has the ability to tear out my heart and leave me with my own bitter regrets for the rest of what miserable life I have left.
CHAPTER25
CHASTITY
We don’t speak a word until we are in the jewelers in town. Leo has retreated into himself, and I don’t blame him for that. I realize I’ve shocked him. Love isn’t something that has probably ever entered his head, but it’s all I thought of when I fought to survive. That one day it would all be worth it.
Perhaps it would happen as the result of a small-town romance when I meet a cowboy, or a mechanic with a cheeky smile and a family who welcome me in. A town who looks after one another and pulls together. We would live in a small wooden house on the edge of town, with a couple of dogs and horses in the field.
I want the simple life and to pretend that mafia is just something to watch in the movies. A town dance to look forward to and decorating the tree at Christmas. Thanksgiving dinner with a wild unruly tribe and a man who thinks the world of me and one I would kill to protect.
Not this. Not this cold, empty existence, where the only kicks available are from fucking a hard criminal, wondering if he will make it home, or if I will. I know Leo wants me; he’s made that obvious, but do I want him—this? I already know I can’t have one without the other, so I backed away, laying out my demands before we get in too deep.
I choose the kind of ring he expects me to, passing over the ones I would really prefer. Understated elegance with a small price tag. The result of one man’s hard work to get the best he can for the woman he loves. Not bought with the tortured souls of the damned and a statement of how wealthy the purchaser is. A seal of ownership that warns everyone away, even me, as it turns out.
