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A hushed silence falls between us as she whispers, “I was always told not to look, but I did. Of course, I did. There was a boy who stared at me in class. I felt his eyes burning into me. Grady Montague. He had an energy none of the other boys had. His father was one of the wealthiest men in Heaven and he wore clothes we had never seen the like of before. Grady enjoyed an arrogance that I found intoxicating and I was fascinated by him.”
I say nothing because I am enthralled by my mom’s story because I never really saw her as a person until now. She has always just been mom, and I never imagined her life without my father in it.
Before she became his possession.
“One day I was walking home after class, and I dropped my books in a puddle. I was so scared, Faith.”
She whispers, “I didn’t know what to do. As I tried to gather them, a shadow fell over me and Grady dropped before me, and his hand rested on mine.”
Her voice has changed, as if the memory is her most precious one and she whispers, “I looked up into two dark brown eyes and I have never seen the look of them before. They mesmerized me and I couldn’t place the expression in them. His hand was warm, secure even, and as he leaned forward, I almost tasted his breath as he whispered, ‘I will deal with this.’ His hand grew tighter around mine and he pulled me closer, my face almost touching his and he told me he had his eye on me and would arrange our marriage as soon as we left school.”
“What happened?” I’m almost afraid to ruin her story by reminding her I am here, but she shakes her head and carries on.
“I don’t know how it happened, but he shifted closer. I should have pulled away, but he was in command of me. Our lips touched, and I felt a fluttering deep inside and then he pressed harder, and his tongue parted my lips and delved inside. I had never been kissed before and was frightened, but there was something preventing me from doing anything to ruin the moment.” Her face flames with embarrassment as she whispers.
“We kissed in broad daylight on the path near the buttercup field and it was the most magical moment of my life.”
“What happened?” I am almost afraid to ask because this was not a happily ever after for the two would-be lovers.
“He died.”
“How?”
The desolation in her voice breaks my heart as she says sadly. “A riding accident. He came off and hit his head. He died in the hospital a few days later.”
“I’m so sorry, mom.”
She forces some brightness into her voice. “It was God’s will. I was always to be married to your father, and I was destined to bring you into the world and so…” She turns and stares deep into my eyes with her apology evident. “Life doesn’t always turn out how we want it to, but God sees the bigger picture. What happened to you was unfortunate, but this is your salvation. The reverend will make a fine husband and provide a good home for you and Hope. Just remember the good times are only of the moment. They never last and what’s important is duty above fanciful ideas of love.”
She says love. Was it ever love with Jonny? It certainly felt like that at the time, but distance has faded the memory of love. Lust definitely, but surely if I loved him, I wouldn’t have run. Or is it because I loved him too much? I will never know because Jonny is gone and in his place is a man who stars in my nightmares and is my punishment, my damnation, and my future.
CHAPTER6
JONNY
The town is exactly how I remember it. Nothing ever changes here. It’s still the same boring town that I grew up in.
I park the bike outside the general store and note the turned gazes of the passers-by, desperate not to stare into the devil’s eyes.
There are no friends to look up, no old teachers to revisit. I have no one but Faith, and even she turned her back on me. Why am I even bothering?
I head inside the general store and the chatter falls silent as my heavy boots make the floorboards creak. I wink at a couple of girls cowering in the corner and the flush on their faces makes me smile.
“Ladies.” I say in my husky drawl and from out of nowhere their moms appear and hurry them away.
“Good to see you, Mr. Gaston.” I say cheerily to the storekeeper, and he blinks as he recognizes one of their own.
“Is that you Jonny Santos?”
He stares at me, aghast, and I nod. “The same, although dressed a little differently now.”
He runs his eyes over my biker jacket and, for some reason, a small smile tugs at his lips.
“Have you been home to see your folks?”
I lean over the counter and whisper, “It didn’t go well.”
“I’d be surprised if it had.”
