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He raises his eyes. “So, they’re poor women now.”
I grin, loving his playfulness and then his expression softens, and he whispers against my lips, “If I couldn’t have you, I wanted the memory of you. I tried so hard to let go, but your face was all I could see. I chose women who looked like you, even though it felt as if I was betraying you.”
He kisses me lightly on the lips before saying gruffly, “I was angry. You ran away from me, and I didn’t understand why. I thought you regretted what happened between us and it killed me inside. For a long time, I was lost. I couldn’t find my way back and fucking a lookalike was the only control I had left. I’m sorry if that shocks you and I’m sorry you will probably meet the women responsible, but I am not sorry that I loved you too damn much to let you leave my mind.”
As Jonny kisses me with renewed passion, nothing else matters. All that does is in this house and any jealousy or pain I may experience for those lost years must be forgotten and replaced with excitement for our future. We are a family now and thank God, he brought us back together because the alternative is something I am sure will star forever in my nightmares.
CHAPTER32
JONNY
Somehow, we found time to sleep in between fucking in every position and running to Hope when she woke between feeds. I wouldn’t change a thing though because I have never felt as happy as I do tonight.
When the dawn breaks, Faith is out cold and as Hope cries from the other room, I resist waking her mother and head into the adorable nursery Ashton and Bonnie created for her.
I peer into the crib and my heart explodes with love for this child. I didn’t know that unconditional love was a real thing because I certainly never experienced any of it myself. My own mother apparently hated me on sight. Probably due to the difficult birth that she threw in my face as a reason why I was evil.
‘Even as a baby in the womb, you brought me pain.’
She would love to say as she struck me around the face for daring to play in the mud or speak out of turn.
There will be none of that for Hope. She can roll in the mud for all I care. I want her to be free, unapologetic where it counts, and not afraid to come to me with any of her problems. If she has any, you can bet I’ll deal with them and as she glances up at me curiously with fresh tears sparkling in her lashes, I instinctively reach out and lift the small bundle of perfection into my arms.
She doesn’t appear afraid of me like most people. She snuggles into my chest as if by some miracle I can feed her myself. It makes me smile and as I stare into her eyes, I smile softly and whisper, “I’m your daddy, Hope.”
I head across to the window where the sun is putting on a fantastic show as it arrives for the blistering day ahead and I turn her to face the window and whisper, “This is the first day of the rest of our lives. The three of us. You, mommy and me. This is our home, and you have nothing to fear here.”
I kiss her sweet little head and sound slightly husky with emotion. “You will have lots of friends and so much love you will buckle under the weight of it. A mommy who is already the best one in the world and a daddy who will love and protect you as every parent should. I can’t promise you grandparents, but I can promise you a fierce family who will always love and protect you.”
I can’t resist dropping another light kiss on her soft little cheek and whisper, “You were born in Heaven but as it turns out, that place never really lived up to its name. Some call this place hell; I disagree because who wants to live in Heaven when Hell is way more fun?”
A soft chuckle alerts me that we’re not alone and I turn and smile as Faith stands leaning against the door jamb, looking like an angel in the scrap of satin that I must thank Ashton and Bonnie for.
She appears sleepy but so darn beautiful I can’t believe my luck and, as she heads across the room, she drapes her arm around my waist and gazes at Hope with a soft smile.
“Morning, baby.” She whispers, dropping a light kiss on her cheek, and then she turns to me and whispers huskily, “I swear I have never been so happy.”
“Me too.” Bending down, still with Hope against my naked chest, I kiss the woman I am besotted with in a long, lingering kiss.
When I pull away, I whisper, “This feels good.”
“It does.”
Hope stirs in my arms and Faith grins. “I probably should feed her. I usually give her the first one and then I’ll make up some formula and you can do the next one, if you don’t have to work, that is.” She looks anxious and I shake my head. “No. I have the day to show you around and spend time with my family.”
As she takes Hope from my arms, she says happily, “Thank you, Jonny.”
“What for?” I can’t tear my eyes from her as she settles in the big chair and places Hope to her breast.
“For coming back. For saving me and for rescuing Hope.” She smiles down at our child and the expression of pure unadulterated love on her face has me spell-bound.
Then she lifts those beautiful eyes, and they sparkle with love aimed directly at my heart and she whispers, “For loving me enough to bring me here.”
I head across the room and drop down before her and I swear everything I ever want is in this room.
“Will you marry me, Faith?”
The words come out fast because I can’t waste any more time and the expression on her face tells me she wants this as much as I do.
