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At first he answers with a murder-glare, then he must sense I’m genuinely concerned and relaxes.
“Yeah.” He flexes his fingers and rolls his shoulder. “A little achy but I feel strong, otherwise.”
“Good. Look, I think Jiggy and I were too ambitious. I’m going to find another place for us to stop between here and Roanoke.” I’d rather bring this up with Grinder. Wrath might figure out why I’m adding in the break and I don’t want him giving Sparky shit about it.
“I think that’s a good idea,” Grinder says. “Just say where.”
Inside the store, I’m overwhelmed with the selection of snacks and drinks. The place has an entire wall devoted to different kinds of soda and a giant display of every variety of M&Ms .
Rock and Wrath are over by the coffee station. Rock calls me over.
“How’s Sparky doing?” he asks in a low voice.
“Better than we thought.” I flick my gaze to Wrath who’s busy staring at his phone. Doesn’t mean he isn’t listening in, though. “A little cranky, though.”
“Weed withdrawal,” Wrath says without looking up from his phone.
“Nosy fucker much?” I say.
Rock’s expression doesn’t change. “Keep me updated.”
“Will do.” I grab a bag of pistachios, a coffee, and join my brothers in the back of the place where there’s a seating area. If there were any other customers sitting in here before, they’re long gone now. It’s only Lost Kings patch holders filling this section of the store. Most of the available booths are taken. A lot of our guys are standing to stretch their legs before we get back on the road.
“I got you all beat,” Bricks is saying as I slide into a booth next to Z and across from Murphy.
Bricks stands in the middle of the room facing all of us. Stash and Ravage clearly egging him on with wild booing and gasps of disbelief.
I rip into my bag of pistachios, crack open a few, and pop them in my mouth.
“I do,” Bricks insists. “I need you to picture this…I’m cutting some jalapenos, making my famous salsa—”
“Famous where?” Birch heckles.
“In your mom’s bed.” Bricks bends over and mimes slicing and dicing. “After dinner, I touched the boys, not thinking anything of it. They get warm at first. Tingly. Then it starts fucking hurting. Pain keeps getting worse. I tried showering it off, nothing worked. Finally, Winter pours a gallon of milk into this big bowl and has me dunk my balls in it…”
I glance at Murphy, then Z. “What the fuck is happening?”
“They’re having a ‘weirdest way you hurt your own balls’ contest,” Murphy explains.
“No wonder Rock and Wrath stayed by the coffee machine. Wish they’d given me a heads-up.” I glance behind me. Don’t see Grinder over here, either.
Ravage’s perverted gaze slides over to us. “Who’s next? Come on, someone has to have a better story than pepper juice and fucking Icy Hot.”
“Let me guess, Stash is the one who rubbed Icy Hot on his balls?” I ask Murphy.
“Who else?” He sips his coffee. “Except I think we all know he did it on purpose.”
Next to me, Z snorts.
“Come on, Ginger Yeti, we all know you must have a good one,” Rav says, stopping at our table.
Murphy’s mouth twitches. “Yeah, all right. One of those elastic exercise bands with the fucking hard plastic handles.” He lifts his two fists in the air and slides them away from each other to demonstrate. “I was putting them away at Furious. Didn’t realize one of the handles was stuck on something. I yanked it hard. All of a sudden it let loose and nailed me straight in the nuts. I swear I blacked out.” He shakes his head. “Wrath laughed so fucking hard I thought he was going to piss himself. I threw all those bands away. Fuck that.” He slants a look at Rav. “Happy now, Doctor Degenerate?”
“Murphy takes the lead,” Birch announces. “Who can beat exercise band to the balls?”
Under the table, Murphy taps Z’s leg with his boot. “Come on, Prez, I bet you have a story.”
Ravage leans over the back of our booth, getting close to Z’s face. “Don’t be shy, this is a safe space to share. Weirdest way you hurt your balls…and go!”
“Accidentally emptied them in my wife.” Z’s mouth slides into a smirk. “Now a tiny human climbs into bed with us on Sunday mornings and knees me in ’em.”
Murphy busts up laughing. I slowly turn and stare at Z.
“What?” He shrugs. “It’s true.”
“Too wholesome!” Ravage lifts two thumbs down in the air.
“I assure you, it’s not,” Z says.
“Disqualified!” Stash yells. “Has to be something you did to yourself.”
Z shrugs.
“Well,” I grab my coffee and stand. “This has been more than I ever needed to know about any of you. I’ll be outside.”
Rock, Wrath, and Grinder are standing in front of the store talking when I step outside. “You could’ve warned me.”
