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My heart races. Little butterflies kick up a party in my stomach, fluttering and eager to get closer.
He slices a look my way that could cut through a steel beam.
The fluttering excitement inside me shatters. Cold humiliation takes its place.
You broke up with him. Did you expect him to give you a hug?
Nope, I can’t blame him. Don’t think I can face him, either. Not even for a polite hello and some godparent-related chitchat.
Serena meets me halfway. “Are you okay?”
I swear I still I feel Dex’s gaze on me with every step but I’m too chicken to look his way.
It doesn’t matter. I did the right thing. I had a lapse in judgment. Allowed myself to be charmed by our explosive chemistry. And Libby paid the price for my selfishness.
So, for the sake of my heart, I need to avoid Dex as much as possible today.
“I’d like to begin by saying a few words,” the officiant says. Something about the woman seems so bright and calming. I can understand why Serena was drawn to this unconventional church and service.
“A parent’s love is full of devotion, joy, sacrifice, and pain. It is endless and unselfish.”
Across from me, Dex is stoic as always. I study his face. The tightness in his jaw. He lost a child. How much is this ceremony hurting him?
He shifts his gaze from baby Lincoln to me. Am I imagining it or do his shoulders relax the second our eyes meet? The barest flicker of a smile curves his lips. As if the gesture had been against his will, he stands straighter and returns his attention to Lincoln.
“…it defies all explanation,” the woman finishes.
Damn, hope I didn’t miss anything important. Can’t I set aside my feelings for a few hours and concentrate on the job Serena trusted me to do, instead of staring at Dex like a teenager nursing her first crush?
Or a woman face to face with the first man she’s ever really loved.
“Lincoln, your mother and father have chosen their friends Emily and Dixon to help guide you through life.” The officiant dips her chin toward Serena. “And they have chosen to say a few words.”
Serena shifts Lincoln into his father’s arms and takes my hands. “Emily, you’re one of the strongest people I know. Your strength and courage have inspired me so many times. And I can’t think of anyone I’d trust more to guide and encourage my son.”
Damn you. A croak strangles my throat and I nod quickly, squeezing her hands to acknowledge her words.
Grayson isn’t about to hold Dex’s hands. Instead, he cradles his son to his chest and nods at Dex. “Dixon, no one knows how to stay the course better than you. I know you’ll provide my son with examples of honor and inner strength.”
“Now,” the officiant nods at me, “I believe the godmother has a few words she wanted to say.”
Godmother…oh, shit, that’s me!
The woman steps to the side and sweeps her hand in front of her, indicating I can step into the spotlight.
Why did I agree to do this again?
Serena flashes a grateful smile my way. Her big blue eyes widen with curiosity and appreciation.
You’re the only person I’d put myself through this torture for. I return her smile and step into place.
Knowing I’d be too nervous to memorize anything, I pull out a small white piece of paper from my pocket. With shaking hands, I unfold it and clear my throat. My gaze drops to Lincoln, and I swear he’s watching me with the same keen interest as his mother.
“Sweet baby Lincoln, on your special naming day, we welcome you into our world and our hearts. I am so honored to be your godmother and proud to celebrate this special occasion with you.” I lift my gaze to Serena. “You are the luckiest little boy. You will always be loved and cared for. And I pledge to support, guide, and encourage you whenever you need me.”
My voice breaks.
Do I have any business promising this little boy so much when I’ve failed at protecting my sister so many times?
Focus. Almost finished.
I shake off the dark thoughts and continue.
“Sweet Lincoln, my wish for you is to have an amazing life full of happiness and love.”
I fold the paper and tuck it in my pocket, signaling that I’m finished. Should I have come up with more? It’s not like Lincoln knows what I’m saying.
He gurgles and waves his arms at me—as if it’s his baby version of applause. The gesture pulls laughter from me and the audience.
Everyone’s attention focuses on Dex, providing me with the perfect excuse to continue staring at him, wishing I hadn’t screwed everything up.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Dex
Emily’s struggle to get out her words tears me apart. To her, they’re not empty promises. I feel even shittier for not taking today more seriously. Emily prepared a damn speech. Had it all ready to go in the pocket of her dress.
