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Even with all of that, the worst part of the whole feud was that Dmitri, Natalia, and I were no longer allowed to see each other. I could deal with physical wounds, but the mental impact still hurt. We went from being together almost every day to having no contact at all.
Dmitri never treated Natalia and I differently because we were younger than him. He just went with the flow and was there whenever we needed him. Natalia, well, she was my first and only love. My father used to call it puppy love, but even now, I find myself thinking about her and wondering what she’s doing, who she’s dating, etcetera.
“If you say so,” I mumble, continuing to pick at my breakfast. Once I finished, I excuse myself and make my way to my bedroom. After changing into a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt, I head to the home gym located in our basement. I spend the next two hours there trying to push down the feeling of sadness I have had since my father told me about Dmitri. Flashback after flashback replays in my head. Natalia, Dmitri, and I running down the halls of our homes, playing video games, and movie nights. With each new memory, I push myself harder and harder until my body can't take it anymore.
Finishing my workout, I head back upstairs and take a quick shower. It’s still a little chilly in Titusville, New Jersey around this time of year, and where I’m headed, the sun doesn’t reach this time of day. So, I opt for a pair of jeans and a hoodie. Packing a small overnight bag, I grab my car keys and head out to the garage to get in my car. I don’t bother putting my destination on the GPS. I don’t need to, I know this route like the back of my hand. Driving off in a hurry, I turn the music up to drown my thoughts as much as possible. No matter what I do, I can only hope that she’s going to be there.
Half an hour later, I’m pulling into an abandoned parking lot. I sigh to myself as I see the familiar car already here. Grabbing my gun, I exit the vehicle before sliding it into the waistband of my pants. I would prefer to use a holster, but my father argues that you can’t ditch a gun quickly with one. Not like it would matter if I couldn't, because we have every local cop on our payroll.
After making my way down the now overgrown path, I find myself standing in front of an old building. It’s not big, just a two-bedroom cabin. On the outside, it looks old and rundown, but on the inside, Dmitri, Natalia, and I renovated it so that we could crash here when our parents were being too much. Before opening the door, I use our old knocking pattern out of habit, so she knows it’s me.
When I step inside, I’m met with utter silence. “Nat?” I call out as I place my gun on the counter. No answer. Making my way further into the cabin, I’m able to make out quiet sobs coming from the bedroom Natalia claimed as hers from day one. Stopping outside the door, I take a deep breath.
“Nat?” I ask softly, opening the door. My eyes search the room, before falling on Natalia. She’s sitting at the foot of the bed, holding onto something. As I approach her, I realize that it's Dmitri’s favorite hoodie he kept here.
“Go away,” she mutters, burying her face in the fabric. Her long hair fans out over her arms and around the hoodie as she sobs. Her heartbroken cries cut me to the core, and I can feel my own heart breaking.
Sitting down on the bed, I fight the urge to reach out and brush her hair back. “Nat, honey.”
She shoots to her feet and turns to face me. “Two years! It’s been two years since you’ve shown your face around here and you choosetodayof all days?”
“You know I didn’t have a choice…” Keeping my voice calm as I stand and move toward her. The last thing she needs is me joining in her chaos. I know she's lashing out because she is hurting, so I'm taking everything she says with a grain of salt.
“Didn’t have a choice? We had this hideout for years before our families split. You had ample opportunities to meet us here,” she cries, the hurt evident in her voice. “Did you know I came back here? Every night for two weeks I snuck away. I’d sit on this bed and wait. Just wait foryouDeclan, and guess what? You abandoned me.”
I’m frozen in my spot at the admission.
“Nat…” I reach out and pull her into my chest.
She pushes against me, her small fist pounds my chest. "Let me go!" She cries out.
Tightening my hold on her, she finally stops fighting me and slumps into my embrace.
“He’s gone, Dec,” she wails. Holding her tightly in my arms, I lower us to the floor and pull her into my lap.
“Shh. It’s okay,” I whisper, holding her against me and running my hand over her hair.
We sit on the floor for the better part of an hour. I don’t say anything but try to offer as much comfort as I can. Her sobs slowly dwindle and are replaced with soft sniffles. “It was awful, Declan,” she whispers. “There was so much blood. I will never unsee that. I tried to save him.”
I can’t imagine how she must feel. Her heart is broken from the simple fact of knowing he is gone, but to be the one to find him? That is a whole new level of pain.
“Don’t worry, Natalia. We will find out who did this,” I promise while rubbing her back. “Our families have unlimited resources. We’re bound to dig something up if we utilize them.”
“There’s no way your father will help us,” she sniffles as she looks back up at me. “He hates my family.”
“He might not, but I will,” I tell her as I rub my thumb over her cheek, wiping away the tears. “I don’t blame your dad for cutting ties with my family. We would have done the same. I don’t think my father understands that.”
“This also means he is going to push me to find a husband to make sure our family doesn’t completely go down in flames since he has no ‘rightful’ heir now,” she mumbles as she pulls away from me and walks into the kitchen digging through the cabinets. I frown at the sudden change in her and wonder what it is she could be looking for.
“Ah-ha!” She exclaims as she pulls out a bottle of vodka. “Just what I was looking for.”
Walking over, I take the bottle from her and grab two glasses. I pour each of us a drink and hand her a glass. She takes it, quickly empties the contents, and I refill before she downs the vodka again in one gulp. When she’s on her fourth refill, I place the liquor down on the table and look down at her. “So, are we drinking to numb or drinking to black out? Because at this rate, you’re going to end up the latter if you don’t slow down.”
“Don’t do that,” she pleads, reaching for the bottle with her eyebrows furrowed and a frown splitting her face. As we stand here, I take the time to appreciate her. The way her features are older, yet so familiar. The same beautiful girl I knew and loved.
Love.
“I’m not doing anything, Natalia,” I say as I pick the bottle back up before she can grab it. “I just need to know what to expect.”
