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“I’m sorry to wake you,” she mumbles, looking over her shoulder as she rubs her arm nervously. “Can I come in? I need to talk to you.”
Stepping out of the way so she can come inside, she hurriedly enters, and I shut the door softly behind her.
“I need you to help me get out of here before he wakes up,” she whispers, and my eyebrows practically shoot to my hairline.
“Are you insane? He will literally murder me,” I hiss in a low voice as if he can hear through the walls. The last thing I need is to make my already absent father status become permanent.
“Finn,” she sits down on my bed and looks down at her hands before patting the bed beside her. “Come sit. I need to tell you something.”
Raising an eyebrow, I do as she says. Walking over, I sit on the edge before fiddling with my own fingers.
“I need to tell you why I can’t come home,” she says and chews on her bottom lip.
“You better make it fast,” I say, glancing over at the clock. “He will be waking up soon. No offense, but I’d rather not let my life end by murder from my best friend. I have no doubt that they’d be taken care of, but I’m not really in the mood to be resurrected by my wife, only to have her kill me again.”
She nods and takes a deep breath before telling me the full story of what happened that day in the basement with Rian. She tells me about the deal they made and how she left to save his life.She left for him, not because of him.My heart breaks for her, the pain and suffering she had to put herself through just to save him. My heart breaks for my best friend because he suffered through her loss, but it wasn’t a loss. She was saving them. She did what she thought was right. She did what she had to do, but that doesn’t mean it had to happen that way.
My eyebrows furrow and I reach over, placing my hand on hers. “We could have figured it out, Natalia. You know we could have found another way. There is always another way,” I tell her with a frown. She knows that, she knows we would have done anything to help her. What I don’t understand is why she didn’t just say anything to me or Declan. That’s something I don’t think we will ever get clarity on.
“I wasn’t thinking clearly. My parents were just murdered. My heart was still sore from Dmitri being killed. I didn’t want to lose another person I love. I refused to let him go, and I wasn’t willing to take the risk of losing him. I knew I could keep an eye on him from afar, and that’s exactly what I did. It was easier for me to just…let go.” She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.
“So, what? I put you on a plane going to a different state and you expect me to keep it a secret from Declan?” I ask, clearly frustrated.
“That’s exactly what I need,” she confirms, picking at the skin around her nails nervously. “I will come back home eventually. I never planned to be away forever, Finn. I needed space, time and a plan,” she says sadly. “You guys just need to give me some time to regroup. A lot of shit has happened. Istillneed time. Istillneed space. I can’t get either of those things with him constantly being a reminder of who I used to be. I also can’t come back if Siorc is around. I won’t let him be collateral damage for me. This world deserves good people, and Declan is one of them. If he dies… I don’t think I’d be able to survive it. So, please just let me figure things out.”
“I can’t do that. I can’t lie to him,” I mutter, shaking my head vigorously. The fact that she thinks I could, or would, keep something like this a secret from him is absurd. He’s my best friend and boss, there is no way I can lie to him.
“Why not? You guys lied to me for weeks,” she points out. She doesn’t say it rudely or with animosity, simply like she is pointing out a fact. My shoulders slump with understanding where she is headed with this.
“Alright Natalia.” I stand and walk over to the table, grabbing the hotel stationary. I shove my hand toward her. “I’ll do it, but you have to leave a note for him. Tell him you’re coming home, just not right now. He’s going to be heart broken, Natalia. He’s going to think you’re leaving him for good. You don’t understand how miserable he’s been, how miserable we have all been. Wanting to burn the world down, he waited. You owe him the basic decency of writing a note.”
She nods without hesitancy and walks over to me, taking the pen and paper. “You’re right. I can do that.” I wait patiently as she writes out her note, but time is ticking and he will wake within the hour.
“Come on, we have to go,” I stress to her.
“I’m coming, let me leave this for him.” She disappears into the other room, and I grab my keys. Pacing back and forth, I rake a hand through my hair roughly
Declan is going to murder me.
Chapter nine
Declan
Declan,
I’m sorry. I don’t want to leave you like this, but if I don’t leave before you wake, I’m afraid I will never leave. I’m not leaving because of you, I’m leaving because of me.
I hope that you can understand one day. Nothing would make me happier than coming home. Things are just complicated right now. I promise, I’m coming home. You just have to give me time. I will be back.
I love you. Until death do us part.
Love, Natalia
P.S.
Don’t be mad at Finn.
I mean it. I will find out if you were.
