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“Hey!” I said breathlessly as the air conditioning blasted against my skin, sending chills all over my body.
“Good morning!” Nyla replied happily. “I have a quick break, so I thought I’d catch up with you. I’m excited about coming down there—it’s all I can think about!”
Laughing, I peered out the door at Jensen below me, admiring how his muscles flexed as he moved around, mending the pond liner with new stones and plants.
“It’s all I can think about, too. It’ll be nice having you here.”
She giggled. “I’m sure it hasn’t been too lonely with Jensen around all the time. Is he there now?”
I glanced out the door and smiled. “Yes. He’s cleaning the pond; it looks a million times better.”
“I can’t wait to meet him,” she gushed.
“You don’t have to worry about that,” I said, laughing. “He’s here every single day.”
If he cleaned the pond today, I wondered what his excuse would be tomorrow. It didn’t matter either way; I wanted to be around him.
“You know he’s just doing that to spend time with you, right?” Nyla mused.
I focused on Jensen, watching as droplets of sweat rolled down his bronzed skin as he swung the rake back and forth across the water's surface.
“Yeah, I know. He’s kind of wearing me down.”
Nyla laughed so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear and take a few steps back.
“I don’t know why you’re fighting it. You want him, end of story. Might as well enjoy this time before you come back to Boston. If he was mine, I know I definitely would be.”
“He’s notmine,” I corrected her, trying but failing to push away the warmth in my chest at the thought of Jensen belonging to me. “Besides, I can’t go down the same path I did before.”
Nyla scoffed. “You don’t have to. Figure out a new path where you can both be happy.”
I moved away from the door and sat on the couch. “I don’t even know what that is.”
“You’ll figure it out,” she said softly. “I have faith in you.”
“Thanks. I needed to hear that.”
Her break ended and we said our goodbyes. As soon as we hung up, I went back to the door to peer out at Jensen. Was it possible for us to find a way we could both be happy? At work, I always had the answers. I knew exactly what needed to be done and how to do it. Why was I having so much trouble now? Love should be easy to navigate but it was, by far, the hardest.
I took one last look at Jensen before turning for the hallway to my grandmother’s room. Grabbing the box of letters off her dresser, I sat down on the bed and opened it. There were over a hundred love letters. I shuffled through them and grabbed one at random, wondering what it was going to say. Would it be one with T professing his love or one full of heartache and longing for what he and my grandmother couldn’t have? Carefully, I unfolded the paper and held my breath as I read the words.
My dearest Rachel,
As the waves crash against the shore and the seagulls call out above me, my thoughts drift to the day we snuck onto the pier and shared that special moment. The way the moonlight danced on the waves and the smell of salt in the air made it feel like it was just the two of us against the world.
I remember the way your hand felt in mine as we walked along the pier, stealing kisses in the shadows. And I recall the exact moment I said the words I had been holding back for so long – “I love you.” The way your face lit up with joy and love made my heart swell.
That moment will forever be etched in my mind and heart. It’s a memory that I have held onto during my long days at sea, and it’s what brings me home to you each and every time.
My life is unpredictable and dangerous, but I find solace in the fact that I have you waiting for me. When I return, I plan to speak to your father, to ask for your hand in marriage. Calling you my wife would be the greatest honor.
Yours always,
T
If only therewere letters from my grandmother to T. I would love to know her replies and what truly happened between them. I could only guess that it had to have ended in tragedy. I folded the letter and put it back in the box with the others.
Setting the box on the bed, I stood and returned to the window. It looked as if Jensen was almost done cleaning the pond. My heart swelled at the sight of him, and I knew deep down that I’d never stopped loving him. I loved him so much and regretted leaving him so much that I drowned myself in school and work to get him out of my mind. None of it worked, though. All it did was make my misery and loneliness worse.
