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“She’s right, you know,” Ethan says, tearing a piece of his croissant and stuffing it into his mouth. “You can’t keep going like this forever.”
I scoff outright. “Yeah, you’d say that. Now that you’ve been tamed by Cas you think you’ve got this utopian bliss that I’m missing out on, or whatever.”
“It’s not that,” Ethan says, checking over his shoulder yet again. He meets Cassidy’s gaze and they share a smile that holds some secret I can only imagine. Then he turns back to me. “I’m talking about the games, Bear. Aren’t you tired of all that?”
I’ve been with countless women, all of them cookie cutter versions of the same thing. Not once - not even a little - have I felt the kind of empty I did when Cara walked out of that lighting room. I haven’t been able to get her out of my head and yeah, a part of me wonders what it would feel like if I quit my bullshit. What my life would be if I never had to feel that emptiness again…
“Speaking of games,” I give Ethan a wry smile and his expression changes instantly.
He straightens in his chair and sighs. “Oh, no. What have you done now?”
I happily launch into my latest endeavor, giving Ethan all the details about the theater, tricking Cara into making a fool of herself in my movie, fucking her. I tell him everything. Except, of course, that I think I might miss her.
“What? You’re not going to say anything?” Andy had refilled us just like Cassidy promised, and I take a small sip of my piping hot coffee.
Ethan doesn’t move. He sits there, blinking at me, his face an expressionless mask to the thoughts likely barreling through his head. I remember a time when he would’ve been excited about this, lauding my unfailing prowess when it comes to making women do whatever the hell I want.
“How long have I known you?” he asks, eventually breaking his silence.
I shrug. “Since college? What’s that got to do with anything?”
Ethan leans in and when he speaks, his voice is low. No over the shoulder lovey dovey eyes at his wife. This is just for me.
“You never sleep with your marks.” His eyes don't leave mine. Searching for something I know he won’t find. I had taken care of all that already. “Don’t shit where you eat, right? That’s your number one rule.”
I try to laugh it off. Gotta keep my game face on or I’m screwed. “Ease of access, man. That’s all it was. A slip. One-time thing.”
He isn’t convinced. Maybe because I’m not all that convinced either. But I’ll never own up to that.
“You like her,” Ethan narrows his eyes, jabbing an accusatory finger at me.
I snort with laughter. “As much as I like all hot, blonde wannabe actors who are more than ready to fuck their way onto a movie set. Can you blame me?”
“You like her.” A slow smile spreads on Ethan’s face and he leans back in his chair, totally pleased with himself. “Never, in all the years that you’ve been at this, have you compromised your rules. Never.”
“They’re my rules, okay? I get to compromise whatever the fuck I want.” His accuracy is annoying. I know that if we dwell on this topic any longer he’ll have me pinned.
That’s why I work extra hard at maintaining my usual persona. Untouchable. The bear that can’t be provoked to anything unless he already decided to do it in the first place. It’s never let me down before, and by the way Ethan’s looking at me, I’m sure it’ll work the way it always does.
“I don’t know, Bear,” he says with a slight laugh. “It kinda sounds to me like you’re trying a little too hard to make me think there’s nothing going on there. I know you…”
It’s a futile fishing expedition. He might be happy with his new life, but I’m not about to trade mine for having heart-to-heart Fridays in a bakery with my best friend. Besides, this thing with Cara is a blip. Nothing more. I’ll have it under control before I walk out of here.
“You used to know me,” I take another sip of my coffee. The croissant Cassidy brought remains untouched and cold. I don’t have much of an appetite anyway.
Ethan scowls at me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means, old friend, that you’ve got your head so far up your wife’s ass, vision obscured with rose-colored glasses, that you can’t know anything outside of that miasma of love choking you up.” Now it’s my turn to laugh - the face he makes is all the payback I need for him raking me over the coals about Cara.
He takes the shot with his usual air of diplomacy. “Go ahead, have your fun. Just know that the day will come when you’re going to have to quit these games and grow up. Eventually.”
“Says who?” I nod at the bustling customers still filling up the bakery. “My life is never going to be this, Ethan. I can’t even imagine it.”
He finally gives up, shrugging as he shoves another piece of croissant into his mouth. I don’t make a big deal about it, but breathe a secret sigh of relief. Getting him to stand down was never easy, but this was the first time I felt close to being called out on my bullshit.
A shrill ringing breaks into the air and I grab my phone from my pocket. Stare at the screen. Nothing in my body feels the need to answer once I see the name emblazoned there.
“Now that’s a look I still know,” Ethan says. “That’s either your tax attorney or-”
