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He holds his hands up. “You’re a big girl, Lily. I know you’ll be okay no matter what. It’s him I worry about. Me and Adam both tried. Trust me, you don’t know what you’re taking on.”
I want to believe so much that Paul can change and not screw me around anymore, but only he knows his own heart and I have to believe he’s turning a corner.
“His dad’s out today so we’re visiting him tonight.”
Theo turns pale and eventually murmurs, “You’ll see for yourself, then.”
The rest of lunch passes quietly, with only the odd brief moment of us catching each other’s eye. Outside as we prepare to bid adieu, Theo grabs me in a fierce hug and doesn’t let go.
“Till we meet again, fair Lily. Till we meet again.”
He slowly releases me, then walks away.
Why does it feel like he’s condemned me without knowing all the info?
In the living room of his mum and dad’s house, we’re sat around waiting for his father to emerge. He’s been in the downstairs toilet now for ages, almost like he’s avoiding me and Paul.
Eventually he shows up, staggering towards his makeshift day bed on the pull-out sofa. He gets himself comfortable and doesn’t recognise we’re here, or is choosing to ignore us completely for some reason.
Paul couldn’t be more tense beside me. I can feel it in the way he’s gripping the sofa arm.
His mother yells at Paul’s dad, Brendan, “Aren’t you going to say hello to your eldest?”
“Hello,” the grouchy old fart says, looking at nobody, doing nothing but stare into space.
“And his girlfriend, Lily?” Paul’s mum demands.
Brendan grimaces, saying nothing except, “Won’t last, never does.”
Paul’s off his chair and out of the room, then out of the house, like a shot.
Lydia looks at me apologetically, saying nothing. The younger brothers are sitting at the other end of the room in the dining area, quiet and absorbed by their phones. I guess that’s their way of ignoring the git in the room.
My blood runs cold as I watch Brendan, stuck with his own thoughts, the TV off because there are visitors. I reach into my bag and hand Lydia a card as I make my way towards the door.
“Your GP can refer you, this guy’s really good.” I give her a card for a specialist who treats alcoholics exclusively. “Tell them it’s life or death, they’ll listen then.”
She walks me to the hallway, hands me the card back with tears in her eyes and says, “He doesn’t want help, but thank you, angel. Now, go look after my son.”
“Okay.”
She hands me two bags containing Paul’s things that’ve been stacked against the hallway wall – the last of his stuff, meaning he’s officially moving out.
“See you, Lydia. Call me if you need anything. Anything. I mean it.”
“Will do.” She hustles me out of the door and I’m left with a horrific feeling of failure and doom. Lydia has accepted that he’s been given another chance, but like Paul, she also doesn’t believe Brendan is going to do anything good with it.
I stuff Paul’s bags into the boot of my car and look around me on the street, finding him nowhere to be seen. I drop into the driver’s seat and give him a call, but he rejects it.
Great, just great.
My mind turns back to my conversation earlier with Theo and I feel sick.
I start driving around the neighbourhood, looking for him on the street.
Eventually I find him, stood just around the corner from the local pub, wondering if he should go inside. I pull up and fling the passenger door open.
“No time for that, Paul. Got a new life to live.”
