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“Get me some of that cake to go and we’ll head back.” I motion at the cake I want and pick up my panini, demolishing it while he waits in line for cake.
As he drives the car back to the chalet, I never once take my hand off his thigh or my eyes off his face.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It’s been a few weeks now since he started his new job. We’ve clung to one another, spending evenings chatting about our new experiences, people we’re working with, kids he’s impressed by. He’s not going to be fully up and running as a teacher until September so this is his interim period, a time when he can get to know the school, the framework and the ethos. He seems to be enjoying it. I’ve been enjoying the training part of my new job but I’m daunted by what lies ahead of me when I do go out on the case, so to speak.
We spend many evenings staring at each other across the dining table as we work, then we climb into the bath together, talk about anything, everything, and fall into bed wrapped up, totally entwined.
Tonight, as we sit across from one another at the table, me studying safeguarding and him swotting up on lesson plans, he looks up at me and I feel his eyes on me. I look up too, smiling.
“What?” I ask.
“Don’t you have periods?”
I giggle. “Yes, of course.”
“The Year Fives had a bit of sex ed today and thought it was hilarious. It got me thinking, though because since we’ve been together, you haven’t had a period. At least, I haven’t noticed you having one.” He narrows his eyes at me, letting me know exactly what he means.
It’s only been a couple of months, but he’s right. “I came off the pill.”
His eyes bug. “What?”
“A few months ago, I wasn’t having sex so I came off it. Couldn’t see the point. Less chemicals in me if I’m not on it. I haven’t had regular periods since then because my body is readjusting but it’ll get back to normal soon.”
“But we’ve been having unprotected sex?” He raises his voice.
“Like I said, I haven’t been having proper periods. I’m not worried. If I’m pregnant, I’ll be happy. If I’m not, I’ll be happy. Either way, I’m okay, I’m happy.”
He pushes his chair back from the table and stands there, aghast. “If you’d told me, I would have been wearing condoms.”
“You didn’t ask. Besides, I’m not worried.”
He storms across the room, grabs his jacket and leaves the house.
I’m left wondering what the hell.
Ten minutes later he’s back carrying a plastic bag and a huge bottle of water.
“Let’s find out for sure, shall we?” he says, in a sarcastic voice.
I shake my head, grab the test and shun his bottle of water. I do need a pee, as it happens, and I don’t need his help to pee.
I take the test. It’s not my first rodeo. A couple of times with Ian I took a test because of missed periods. It was probably just illness, stress and a combination of other struggles in life that caused me to miss a period. It could be anything really that’s stopping me regaining my periods in their proper order now. Like my depression last year after what happened between me and Paul. Or it could just be that I’ve been on the pill since fifteen years old and it probably takes time for the contraceptive to fully leave your system.
I leave the bathroom carrying the test and show him the result. “See, it’s negative. No worries.”
He holds the test in his hands and demands the leaflet to check. “No, it’s positive. You’re pregnant. Fucking hell, you’re pregnant.”
“No, there was one line.”
“Well, now there’s two. Look, two.” He hands me the test.
I never thought I would ever feel this joyous but I hold my tummy and mumble, “I’m pregnant?”
“You’re pregnant.”
“I’m having a baby. I’ve always wanted a baby. I never thought I could have a baby!” My chin wobbles and I cradle the tiny life inside me that I’ve always wanted. I’m twenty-six years old in May and I never thought I would wait this long. I thought I’d be married and pregnant before I was twenty-five at the latest. I guess I’m doing things the other way around, but hey.
