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“For now?” laughed the prince.
“Aye, the knighthood might come in handy when I’m trying to push through permissions for the castle.”
“Ohhhh,” said the prince, pleased as punch. “All the very best with that. Please let me know when we can visit.”
The prince, not one for royal tradition, bowed his head and grinned as he left Caelan where he was, still seated.
Caelan’s complicated emotions when it came to Eric and what had become of him caused him pain on a daily basis. For a moment, sat in that room alone, he allowed himself to feel the agony of Eric’s loss. All that talent, knowledge and life… wasted.
It was tragic.
Caelan couldn’t help but think he’d given Eric a nasty, wicked end.
Maybe everything Eric had been doing was just a way for him to get back to his da. A lost boy wanting to be back with his father, that was all.
Caelan knew if it had been Jimmy out there in the world and he’d known there might be some way to reconnect with him, Caelan would’ve been sorely tempted to do whatever was required. In spite of what Jimmy had done in the past, he’d have jumped at the chance. Just to have five more minutes with him. Whatever slim odds they were, and even if it would only mean getting his uncle back for a split second in time, he would’ve taken that chance, just to speak to him one last time. Perhaps say goodbye. Exchange confessions. Understand.
There were however some things Caelan would never do to get five more minutes with Jimmy, so he supposed, in his heart of hearts, Eric had got what he deserved.
There were lots of things still unanswered. Like Dani’s death. Plus, how much had Hamish really known about Eric? Is that why he had to die? Had Eric ever loved anyone before Flora came along? He somehow didn’t think so and he somehow knew Eric hadn’t expected it, at all.
Love and hate. Such a fine line between them. Caelan was sure it’d never been love Eric had felt for him. It’d been frustration that he couldn’t break Caelan, whose mental strength was beyond most people’s understanding. Even Eric’s. Which had fascinated Eric, of course. A sociopath couldn’t understand how someone could appear to be so cold on the surface, while beneath, possessing such humanity and goodwill. Eric had no doubt gone to the grave still angry he hadn’t been able to figure out what made Caelan tick.
Well, if your only motivation in life is to see other people suffer, then for sure, Caelan could see how that kind of a man wouldn’t understand that his only motivation in life was to be better, do better and help others find better ways of living.
Sometimes though, Caelan still missed Jimmy. He couldn’t help it. His uncle had been kind to him, never warm, but just… not awful. Eric’s father had been a tyrant to him, which made the thing even more perplexing to think of.
Caelan expected Eric hadn’t ever planned on falling in love. Pity. It can be the deadliest weapon in the world, love.
He’d have to carry the burden of that forever, knowing he’d risked his wife to take out a murderer. He’d have to pray she never figured it out. Never left him because of it.
Something had told him, however: if you need a difficult person dealt with, you send in an even more difficult person. One whose true strength and power isn’t always visible to the naked eye.
Nae, her true power lay hidden beneath all that beauty, glamour and intelligence.
That inner psycho she wielded which few people ever got to see.
Sometimes, with some people… it’s there. Lurking.
It might just require a little coaxing.
One thing was for sure, Caelan would never forget those few whispered words from Ogarkov after he finally broke in the interrogation room, it dawning on him that he would not be allowed to live:
“Tell my son he did his best, but again, it just wasn’t good enough.”
Chapter Fifty-Three
Sometime Later
The summer holidays are my favourite time of year. We come up to the castle, let the air into our lungs and the sun into our bones. We swim in the loch on very hot days, and on cooler days, paddle around in canoes.
The castle looks remarkable. It’s obviously not the same as the original incarnation, because most if not all of it had to be rebuilt, but it’s really a jewel of the area with thousands flocking to it every year now.
After the terrible events in Cyprus, Caelan needed some time to recover and this project was the healing he needed. A way for him to say fuck it to the people who let the place go to rack and ruin; and also, a way for him to make good on all the bad this place ever saw. He made it new again.
Meanwhile I kept my career in London and was very glad I did. Once he accepted the knighthood for (undisclosed) services to King and country, doors started opening for me.
I’d be asked to advise on this or that, and suddenly, my expertise on fabrics, furnishings and preservation were highly sought after. So once I’d trained up a team at the Royal Collection to continue my work there, I left and set up my own business restoring, procuring and also selling on antique and high-end fashions and fabrics. It was a no brainer and finding things to furnish the castle was made even easier by the connections I was beginning to build.
