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“No, I’m just very good at pretending,” he said with a smirk.
“An actor, like Caelan, then?” I said, making his eyes snap to mine.
“I’m not even close to his level. You have heard him talk in different accents, no?”
I shook my head. “No, but, I can imagine.” Sherry had insinuated Caelan could play anyone he liked. Had to come in handy in his line of work.
I stared into my glass. “Were you in his life when he was with that other lass?”
“Dani?” His voice held no emotion. I nodded once. “I knew Dani, yeah.”
“What was she like?”
“Tough.” He paused, considering his next words. “She was kind of sweet, cute, one of the lads. She wasn’t glamourous, or beautiful, like you. I’d only just started working with them and they’d already been together a while. Everyone knew they were shagging. Everyone knew she wanted more. We kept it from the top brass for the sake of the team.”
Our eyes locked and I saw he was telling the truth. There was a clearness there, no spite or darkness. Just a guy telling it how it was.
“Did he hurt her?”
I held his gaze and he didn’t look away, but he wasn’t giving me any inkling, either.
“Did he?” I persisted.
“Yes,” he said. “But I don’t think he meant to.”
“How did he react when she died?”
Eric inhaled so deeply, his already broad chest seemed to take on a Hulk-like quality, expanding massively. “He shagged anything that moved after that.”
I bit my lip. “What about you?”
Gulping, his eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“How many women, how many men?”
He chuckled and seemed shy about it. “I’ve been with a lot more women actually. This was when I was his wingman and he didn’t know about the guys.”
“So you have a preference for women, or… just…?”
Pursing his lips, he said, “Caelan sort of crept up on me. I’d known I liked men too, but he was… so unavailable and it just sort of…”
“He did what he does with everyone. Makes you need him, love him, adore him. Charms his way into your heart like a deadly serpent.”
He threw one hand up. “Pretty much.”
Eric took time to consider, then he said, “There have been a couple of guys, but all it was, really, a BJ in a pub toilet kind of thing. I would probably do the full thing if I ever met and loved a man, but the only man I ever loved would never wanna fuck me, so…”
We both had a giggle about that. I might’ve poured myself a bit more whisky, and him, a lot more whisky. I liked relaxed Eric. He was funny and straightforward.
“I guess I’ve always had too much respect for women, hence my father’s dislike of me, his hatred even. Maybe he thought my friendships with guys were weird, that I should’ve been shagging girls from the age of sixteen and using and abusing like he did.” Eric looked at me darkly then. “Sometimes I like that a guy is a bit rough. And I can be rough back. Guilt-free. Ish.”
“You’re frightened of becoming like him?” I paused for dramatic effect. “Your father.”
He didn’t deny it, staring straight ahead. “I’m frightened of being someone who closes themselves off. I see people’s personalities and that’s what attracts me. You could say I’m sapiosexual and see beyond gender, so if that person has a big brain I wanna shag, well…”
“Ohhhh… ohhhh!”
We both had a laugh about it. Actually, I was the same. I’d been in far too many dalliances with men I knew I could never love, because they weren’t on my intellectual level. I’d used them for sex, the same as they’d used me. I wasn’t a victim or a damsel in distress. I’d been getting what I wanted without any strings. Had it furthered my career? Perhaps. But mostly, I’d done that through hard work and grit. The sex was a bit of a bonus on the side. An exchange. Nothing more.
