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“He won’t be like you. I won’t allow it,” I repeated.
I remembered how Eric had told me I was a wonderful mother and that part of that was having had a loving mother myself. That had been one of the things that had made me fall in love with him.
Yes, I was in love with Eric, too.
Whether I wanted to be or not.
Lying in that bed for the past hour, all I’d really yearned for was Eric’s arms and that tender way he would make love to me. I ached for that ease we’d had. Like being together was akin to breathing.
I didn’t really know what the hell I was thinking, but…
“Eric and I talked about being monsters, you know,” I whispered softly, gazing down at the sleeping child in my arms. “But he and I only play at it. You are a monster, Caelan.”
“Aye,” he admitted.
“Would you do it?” His eyes snapped to mine again. “If I asked you to. Would you leave to protect Logan from what you are?”
Caelan’s gaze softened as he looked from me to the bairn, his lip trembling. “I think I would.”
“That’s why I love you,” I said, and carrying Logan with me, I moved towards my husband, letting him put his arms around me to hold us both. “I love you so much.”
But yes, I also loved Eric.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
~ Caelan ~
“He’s been dying to speak,” said Phoebe Thorpe, the blonde who’d been overseeing Ogarkov’s time in the interrogation room.
Caelan had just arrived and was watching Ogarkov on the screens. Already sweating, sleep-deprived and shaking with nervous energy, Caelan didn’t even know why he was really here.
“It’ll be like popping the yoke.” Caelan left the room full of psychologists, government bods and intelligence services twats.
When he entered the interrogation room, the smell of Ogarjov’s sweat was high on the air and Caelan made a secret gesture for them to crank up the aircon. It wasn’t a pleasant smell. Probably the man’s diet. Yet the heat in here had served to work up Ogarkov into a state of anxiety high enough that he’d just want this over and done with, once and for all.
“I’m ready to talk.”
“I thought you might be,” said the Scot, “and your terms?”
“No terms, just truth.”
Caelan raised his eyebrows and stood with his arms folded, hip knocking against the wall.
“Go ahead.”
“I am proud Russian agent, not agent for the West.” His heavy breathing continued even after he’d got it out. “But I plea for immunity at the truth I am about to unveil.”
Caelan started to feel nervous. Him. Nervous!
“Eric Holmes tell me to return to my people with intel he offer freely. He gave me bank account I memorise so I could send him money. I recite to you now…” The Russian reeled it off and there was no doubt in Caelan’s mind the intelligence services would be on it already. “One of Ukraine filth agree to let us go before you show up. His mother sick, need money, so when it his turn for night watch, he say, he let me and Eric leave. Eric promise the man his diver’s watch. Expensive.”
This was true. Eric’s Seamaster watch was worth at least ten grand. Caelan had a couple himself but usually favoured something more inconspicuous day to day. That made him wonder if Eric had really risked wearing such a watch for such a dangerous mission. Sure, Eric had money too but not money the likes of which Caelan had. Eric wouldn’t be able to just go out and buy another like Caelan could. Unless he’d hidden the watch in a pocket somewhere before the Ukrainians got hold of him.
Plus, in a war-torn country, how on earth would someone go about selling such a thing? Having spent time with all those Ukraine men, none of them seemed like they’d be the type to take bribes—especially not from some Russian.
Yet, it was still possible. Caelan listened as Ogarkov continued…
“You know that he speak Russian, yes? That his father was actual Russian. Changed their name. Used to be Herasckow.”
