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“Why do you think that?” She tried to seem more sure of herself than she felt. She didn’t know what it was about Finn that made her feel so nervous. Her feelings for him were fading—they had to be. She loved Asher, but she couldn’t deny the hold Finn had over her. They were connected somehow. It had started the moment she met him, and no matter what she did, she couldn’t seem to break that link.
“Because I know you, Blythe. I know what happiness looks like in your eyes. I know the way you move when you’re happy. You’re lighter. You were lighter with me.”
“I never got a chance tobewith you, Finn. You made that choice. Asher chose me.” She pointed to her chest, her anger growing. “He chose me when you walked away.”
“For your own protection,” he insisted. Then he sighed, rubbing his hand over his hair. “I know now that I made a mistake. I should’ve stayed. I’d do anything to take it back.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” she said, surprising herself when tears suddenly formed in her eyes. “You really hurt me when you walked away. I told you I wanted a chance with you. I wanted you to be an option.”
“I still am!”
“You aren’t,” she said firmly. “I’m in love with Asher now.”
“So you don’t have feelings for me anymore?”
She squeezed her eyes shut, running a hand over her forehead. “I don’t—”
“Be honest.”
“Of course I have feelings for you, Finn. Only God knows why, but I do. But I have feelings for Asher, too. And we’re engaged. This is just…it’s too complicated.”
“So, you’re just going to take the easy road?”
“Isn’t that what you did when you walked away?”
He scoffed, looking at the door with an open mouth. “Is that what you think? You thinkanythingabout that decision was easy?” He stepped closer to her, running his tongue over his lips. His eyes searched hers. “Blythe, that was the hardest thing I’veeverhad to do. Walking away from you that day, leaving you the note, knowing I’d never see you again…it destroyed me. Broke my heart. I’ve never felt toward anyone else the way I feel about you. Not even close. I…I think I’m in love with you.”
She sniffled, the truth of his statement there in his eyes. “Finn…”
“I know,” he said sadly. “I know this is the worst possible time, and I know I’m making your life more complicated. I get it. Honestly, I do. But I’m in love with you, Blythe. I think I may have been from the moment I met you.” He lifted his hand to cup her cheek. She should’ve pulled away, but she couldn’t move. “And if you can tell me you don’t feel the same way, I’ll let you go. I don’t know how, but I will.Onlyif you can tell me you don’t feel that way about me. That you don’t think we at least deserve a chance.”
His eyes darted back and forth between hers, waiting for her to say something, to make a decision. Her mind was a completely blank slate, the lie on the end of her tongue. She was prepared to say it. To tell him that she was over him. That she loved Asher and only Asher. That she didn’t want to see Finn ever again.
Before she could make herself spit out the lie that would break her heart in two, his eyes darted in between hers one last time before falling toward her lips, and then his mouth was on her mouth, his lips pressed to her lips. He slid his hand back from her cheek to her hair, his fingers tangled in her dark brown locks.
Passion filled her stomach, her skin on fire as she fell into the kiss that felt more right than anything in her life. His other hand cradled the opposite side of her face, her body melting into him. Everything he said was right, every word of it. She was in love with Finn. And she was in love with Asher. Everything about her life was a total mess, and yet, she couldn’t wish it any different. What choice would she make? Which option did she want taken away?
Asher—who had never done anything except love her? Or Finn—who set her on fire with passion, protected her in a weak moment, but walked away when she’d been set to choose him? Both sides of her heart were pulling against each other, rooting for different endings to her story. She’d never been so at war with herself.
“Finn—” She pulled away, their foreheads pressed together. He opened his eyes slowly as if dreading her next words. And honestly, she was dreading them, too. “I can’t do this.”
He nodded against her skin, backing away. “I know.”
“I just…I’m engaged.”
“Okay,” he said.
“I’m sorry…” she whispered, unable to meet his eye.
“Yeah, well, me too.” He grabbed hold of the door. “Take care of yourself, Blythe. Whatever you do, just…don’t be afraid of the thing that makes you the happiest. Even if it’s hard. Even if it’s not me. Whatever makes you happy, you fight for it with all of your strength. Like you said, if you don’t, what is the point of everything else?” He tapped the door. “Trust me, you don’t want to live with that kind of regret.”
She nodded, watching him open the door but unable to summon any words. Tears filled her eyes. “Finn, I—”
He stopped, looking back at her with slightly hopeful eyes. “It’s okay,” he said finally. “It doesn’t have to be me. I’ll be fine.” His smile was small but warm.
“Thank you for everything.”
“Anytime.”
