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It’s beautiful and awe-inspiring, and for the first time since we left the hotel, I don’t feel tense. It actually seems like this could be as magical as Blake and Florence have sold it to be.
An older man bumps into me, breaking the haze I’m in as he shoves past. His wife huffs on her way by without making eye contact. Blake pulls me closer to him, pinning them with an angry stare as Florence and Patton form an unintentional circle with us.
“You okay?” Blake asks.
“I’m fine.” My cheeks heat with embarrassment. All around us, people are entering the ship and scattering, heading in every direction with a sort of intentionality, as if they know exactly where they’re going. Maybe they do. I, on the other hand, feel utterly lost. Now that I’m not distracted by the view, the space is oddly disorienting. It’s easy to forget we’re on a ship at all rather than inside a hotel. I hear the sounds of people cheering in the distance, though I can’t tell which direction it’s coming from.
“Looks like the casino’s that way,” Patton says, staring at the map on his phone—pinning, zooming, and scrolling with two fingers to get a better look. “Or if you guys would rather just get something to drink, we can head up to the bar on the top deck. Elevators are that way, but reviews say they’re usually slow, so we may want to take the stairs, which are just over there.”
“Whatever you guys want,” Florence says with a shrug. “I just want to find somewhere to sit down. My legs are killing me. I forgot how hard it is to walk in the sand.”
“Casino sounds good to me. We can get a drink there,” Blake says, nudging me gently. “That okay?”
“My man!” Patton says with a throaty laugh. “Let’s go.”
He turns and leads the way. Before it’s in sight, the stale scent of cigarette smoke hits my nose. I inhale through my mouth, feeling ill. “People can smoke in here?”
Florence fans the odor from her own nose with a disgusted look on her face. “How is that still legal?”
“Casinos,” Patton says as if it’s enough of an explanation. “Does it bother you? We can go somewhere else.”
Florence looks at me and I shake my head. “No, you guys go. I’m just going to sit over here for a while and check out the views.” I jut a thumb at the window behind me.
“I’ll stay with you,” Blake says, and suddenly everyone’s stopped, appearing ready to abandon the previous plan.
Thankfully, in the form of my saving grace, Florence steps toward me. “You boys go play. We’ll get drinks, rest our feet, and breathe the fresh air.” She links her arms with mine.
“Are you sure?” Blake asks, hesitating.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” I assure him. “You guys go have fun. I’ll hang with Flo.”
He stares at me for a few seconds longer, perhaps searching for a sign that I’ll be angry about this later, but I just give him a big smile and turn to walk away with her.
“I need refreshments,” she teases, squeezing me closer to her. “What do you say we find the bar?”
“Can we just sit down for a minute?” I ask, pointing to the large window ahead of us with a cloth bench seat in front of it. “I’m feeling a little light-headed.”
“Are you okay?” She pauses, studying me.
“Yeah, just… I think it’s from the heat outside and the smoke. I’ll be fine. I just need to sit down.”
“Of course.” She leads me toward the window, and we sit.
“I’m fine. I promise.” I pull out my phone and take a photo of the view, then turn and take a selfie of the two of us. I send them both to my parents.
“Are you nervous about going so long without talking to them?” she asks softly, reading my phone screen.
I nod. “It’s silly, isn’t it? I don’t know why I feel so weird about it.”
“You’ll still get to talk to them when we’re at the ports,” she reminds me.
“I know.” A lump forms in my throat, and I suddenly feel myself on the verge of tears.
I’m an adult. Twenty-five years old. I can go a few days without talking to my parents.
Even though I talk to them multiple times a day, every day.
This isn’t the end of the world.
