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I sit with him on the sofa and give him a blow-by-blow of everything from the conversation with my mother, to my argument with Nate, to what happened with Owen.
Dylan listens intently to everything.
When I finish speaking, I wipe my tears and blow my nose. “I don’t think we’re as compatible as I thought we were.”
“You need to have a long conversation with him about this, babe. He needs all the facts here. All the ways your father let you down over the years. All the ways you watched him let your mom down. And all the ways other guys did the same thing to you.”
“I get that, but none of it changes the fact Owen is who he is. He’s a guy who sees things differently than me when it comes to this.”
“You also need to give him the opportunity to give you all his facts. And then you need to talk about whether what you have together is something you both might want to compromise things for. You’re never going to find a relationship where you both automatically get what you want.”
“I don’t think he’s going to change, Dyl. He’s driven. Focused. His work is important to him. And I never want to be that person who expects her partner to change for her.”
“No, but do you want to be that person who doesn’t even give him the chance to choose her?” He pauses, his eyes boring into mine. “You’re scared. I know you are. But give him a chance here.”
My chest is tight. Fluttery, and not in a good way. In a super anxious way.
“I think I have to take this job in California,” I say.
I watch Dylan while he processes that.
I think I’m going to vomit, but then, everything inside me is twisted so tightly together than I don’t think even vomit could get through.
“Why?” he asks.
“Because I need it.”
“Something will come up here.”
“What if it doesn’t?”
“What if it does?”
I really am going to vomit.
“Nate’s right. I need a plan for my life. This is a great job with the kind of income I’ve never had before. I should take the job.”
“So, you’ll do the long-distance relationship thing with Owen, then?”
“I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”
“You’re talking yourself out of this relationship, Char,” he says softly. “Don’t do that.”
“You don’t know Owen.Idon’t know him. It’s hasn’t even been two months for us yet. We’re probably not even that well suited. It’s probably just all the good sex that’s made us get along so well.”
Dylan gives me a look. It’sthelook. The one that says I’m telling myself lies. It’s the look he reserves exclusively for me when I get myself in a muddle of too many thoughts and not enough good sense. I’m not sure why he’s giving it to me now. I’m thinking straight about my career for once. “Only you can make this decision,” he says. “And we both know that you know deep in your gut who Owen is.”
My phone sounds with a text and when I don’t get up to check it, Dylan moves off the sofa and brings my phone to me. “Don’t ignore him. That’s a shitty thing to do to a guy.” He looks at his watch. “Fuck, I have to go. I’m meeting with an art dealer this morning.”
I wave him away. “Go. I’m okay.” I give him a smile. “And thank you.”
I check the text after he gives me one last look and leaves.
Owen: Are you awake?
Dylan’s right. Ignoring him is a shitty thing to do. But there is no way I’m ready for this conversation yet.
Charlize: Yes, but I need some space to think, Owen.
