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Kristen

Me: Where is the best place to buy sex toys?

Poppy: Our work here is complete.

Me: I’m being serious, Poppy. I want to buy some and I have no idea where to go.

Poppy: I was being serious too. Look how far you’ve come, my darling. Back in the day, you used to ignore us and now you’re coming to us. I’m a proud mother hen rn.

Me: *insert eye roll* But seriously, just tell me. I’m already feeling weird about not knowing where to buy them. Don’t make me feel weirder.

Adeline: Don’t feel weird. We’ve been there, not knowing this stuff.

Me: Right. But that was when you were like fifteen, not nearly thirty.

Charlize: OMG bestie, we should go shopping on Saturday while Owen and Bradford golf. Eeep!! I am so here for this! I’ve got you covered.

Poppy: I’m coming too. I need to keep an eye on my baby chicklets.

Jenna: I’m in too.

Me: I thought you and Beckett were spending Saturday together?

Jenna: We are. I’ll break the news to him tonight that our Saturday will now begin after lunch. There’s no way I’m missing girl time.

Lorelei: Jessica and I will need updates on all the things you buy!

Me: I’m almost certain Jessica already owns all the things.

Jessica: I’m always looking for new things. Jack’s been getting a little frisky with his dick in public lately, which tells me he needs some new fun at home. Let me know what you find in case I don’t have it.

Me: Okay, gotta go. Alan is sending me death vibes for being on my phone. He also still hasn’t let it go that Bradford had words with him about telling me my voice was too sexy last week.

Adeline: My offer stands. I will bury that body for you.

* * *

Jenna:This is the longest Friday of all Fridays. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough. What time are we meeting?

Charlize: I’m free from 9:00 a.m.

Adeline: Same.

Me: Sorry guys, I have to cancel on you. Things have gotten hectic here after that fresh round of scandal hell yesterday and Alan has added a breakfast and a lunch to our day tomorrow.

Charlize: You already had a dinner scheduled, right?

Me: Right.

Adeline: You must be exhausted. Didn’t he add a lunch and dinner to today as well?

Me: Yes. As well as a morning tea. I think he’s trying a new tactic: death to Kristen by exhaustion or frustration, whichever comes first. He knows I’m trying to find a job, and I’m almost convinced he’s adding in random events for me to attend so it inhibits my ability to attend job interviews.

Lorelei: Does Bradford expect you to attend all these things?

Me: No, but I want to for him. It’s crucial he wins the support of Senator Hale and the governor, and I do think we’re getting somewhere with that. Senator Hale had a long conversation with me yesterday about what kind of work I’d like to do. He told me he’d keep his eye out for me.

Jessica: Wait. What was the fresh round of hell yesterday?

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