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“You’ve seen me with him twice. That’s hardly enough to form a complete picture.”
“I’ve seen you with him six times and not once have I seen him treat you well. I’d say the picture I’ve formed is accurate.”
I blink.
My mind swims.
Six times?
“It’s only been two times,” I blurt. “Not six.”
His eyes refuse to let mine loose. “It’s been six. Trust me. I wish it hadn’t.”
All my thoughts catch up with each other. “Why didn’t I know you were there?”
“Because you were busy putting up with Lyle’s bullshit. You deserve so much more. When are you going to realize that?”
This conversation feels a lot like the one we had six months ago. The one in which he wasn’t gentle like I’d asked. He never promised he would be, but I wasn’t ready to hear what he had to say, particularly not when he laid his words down between us with more determination than I cared for.
We didn’t get anywhere with that conversation. Not anywhere good. I know he left it feeling frustrated with me. I left it feeling like a mess of a person.
Bradford was right that I was trapped under my fear, but I couldn’t see a way out of it. I pushed him away a little that night. I think that’s why we didn’t meet on the rooftop the last time we saw each other.
I’m probably about to push him away some more now. I don’t want to. God, how I don’t want that. But I’m not sure I’m ready to walk away from Lyle.
“I’m quite capable of knowing what I deserve, Bradford. I am not the stupid woman so many people think I am. Please don’t treat me like that.”
“Fuck.” He rubs his hand down his face. “I never treat you like that. You’re one of the most intelligent women I know. But you’re not making a smart choice with Lyle. Or with your work. And I can’t figure out for the life of me how to make you see that.”
I hate this conversation. I hate it so much.
“Well, that’s not your job.I’mnot your job. You don’t have to spend your time trying to help me. You’re free to go back to your life and leave me to mine.” The words are out of my mouth before I can control them. I instantly wish I could put them all back in.
I see it in his eyes that I’ve said the wrong thing. That I’ve hurt him. But it’s too late now to do anything about it. My words lie tattered and torn between us. They feel as frayed as the threads between us. We’ve spent three years circling each other, learning the deepest parts of each other, but now here we are, hurting each other, slowly ripping those threads apart.
“Our lives might be separate,” he says, his voice raw with emotion, “but I don’t feel separate from you. And I sure as hell don’t think of you as a job. You might be able to deny this thing between us, but there’s something there, somethingIcan’t deny. I want the best for you. I want you to be happy. And I want you to choose those things for yourself.” He pauses. “I’m sorry if my delivery was off, but I won’t ever apologize for speaking the truth.”
Oh God.
“Bradford—”
My father cuts me off, striding into the middle of our conversation without a care for any privacy we might have preferred. Anger covers his face. “Kristen, I don’t know what you said to Lyle, but you need to get out to the car where he’s waiting and sort this out with him. And perhaps the next time you think it a good idea to engage in a fight in public, you might think that through a little better. I don’t appreciate the whispers circulating.”
He doesn’t give me an opportunity to respond. He leaves as fast as he arrived, taking my pride, my breaths, and all my smart thoughts with him.
I hate so much about this day.
Bradford stares after my father before turning back to me. “Jesus.”
I put my hand up to stop him saying anything further. I know what he’ll have to say and I can’t listen to any of it. I need to fix this problem I’ve caused.
“I’m sorry, I have to go and deal with this.”
He grasps my arm as I try to move past him. “Do you remember the things you told me when we met? What you wanted to do with your life?”
“Yes.” I really don’t want to do this with him. He needs to let me go. And yet, I make no move to pull out of his hold.
“Tell me you’ll think about them.”
