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I look up into those eyes of his, eyes that see too many things. There’s something extra in them. A questioning look. Like he already knows how I am but needs to hear it from me. That’s not possible, though. Nobody knows how I really am. Not Jenna, and certainly not Bradford. It’s been a long time since we’ve had the kind of conversation that would give him that knowledge.
“I’m busy. And good.”
Regret flashes in his eyes now, confusing me. “I know we haven’t spoken for a long time. Really spoken. But you can call me anytime. I want you to know that.”
I frown. “Bradford, I’m good. I promise.” Even I buy my own lies these days. Most of the time, anyway.
He stares at me like he’s taking in every line, every angle of my face. “Just remember what I said.” With that, he lets his fingers slip from my wrist and steps aside to let me past.
I leave him, still confused, wondering what he left unspoken because I’m absolutely certain there was something on his mind that he wanted to discuss. For the life of me, though, I can’t think what it would be.
Throughout the night, I return to our conversation many times. I’m still not able to figure out why he made such a point of letting me know I could call if I needed him. It leaves me feeling unsettled, like something bad is about to happen, and even in amongst the success of the night, that bad feeling doesn’t leave me.
15
Kristen
I sleep badly after the ball, tossing and turning all night. Johnathon slides into bed just after three a.m. I’m awake but I don’t let him know. My disappointment and anger with him over not making it to the ball for even a short time, along with his lack of awareness of what that meant to me, has only grown over the course of the night. If it doesn’t lessen by the morning, I think we may end up having a fight over it because I won’t be able to hold my tongue like I usually do every time he blows me off for work. I understand having to put in the hours, but not when he’s missing something so important to me.
The last time I see on the bedside clock is five a.m. I must fall into a deep sleep after that because when I wake, it’s almost ten a.m. and Johnathon has already left for work.
My morning is slower than usual. I’m not showered and ready for the day until lunchtime at which point my sister texts me.
Jenna: Why haven’t you replied to my texts? Are you still asleep or did Johnathon finally take a Saturday off and demand you have sex with him all day?
I scroll up and find two other texts from her congratulating me on the ball and telling me she hopes I’m giving myself time to rest today.
Me: Saturdays are the new Friday. Didn’t you know?
Jenna: Wow, Kris. The sarcasm. I’m impressed.
Jenna might have been a fan of Johnathon’s in the beginning, but she isn’t so much anymore. She’s never said anything to that effect, but I know my sister. She’s bored by him. He doesn’t engage in thought-provoking conversations with her like she’d prefer. And she doesn’t like that he cancels plans often so he can work.
Me: I’m awake, dressed, caffeinated. I’m thinking of booking in a Pilates class this afternoon. My body is sore and stiff today.
Jenna: Great idea. Maybe take a bath too. And a long nap. You’ve worked hard and deserve some time to yourself.
Time to myself? No woman has time for that. My sister lives in dreamland if she thinks they do.
I’m about to reply to her text when my phone lights up with a call from my father. Weird. He never calls me in the middle of the day.
“Hey, Dad,” I answer.
“Kristen.”
“What’s up?”
“I want to invite you and Johnathon for dinner tonight. To celebrate the success of your ball. Your mother and I are very proud of what you achieved last night and she’s asked Sarah to cook your favorite meal.”
Every cell in my body floods with warmth and happiness. And pride like I’ve never known.
Your mother and I are very proud.
I’ve waited a lifetime to hear those words from my father.
“I’d love that.” My voice cracks.I’m going to cry.
“And Johnathon? He can make it tonight too?”
